


From the Shadows

by poppypetal



Category: Thai Actor RPF, offgun
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Alternate Universe, Attempted Kidnapping, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, OffGun Stalker AU, Stalking, Trauma, Violence, protective Off, stalker au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:14:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 24,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26154031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poppypetal/pseuds/poppypetal
Summary: OffGun Stalker AU. Gun has been stressed lately about a lot of things in his personal life and when Off invites him to stay with him while they shoot a commercial together, Gun jumps at the chance for some much needed comfort. What he doesn't realize is that someone has been watching him, lurking in the shadows and waiting for the perfect chance to strike.
Relationships: Off Jumpol Adulkittiporn/Gun Atthaphan Phunsawat
Comments: 44
Kudos: 158





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously.
> 
> I'm new to the OffGun fandom and have totally fallen for this ship. I blame this fic entirely on all those amazing fanvids I watched. This story is actually completed so chapter updates should happen fairly quickly as I edit them.

Gun Atthaphan smiled to himself as he entered Off’s condo building. He hadn’t seen his friend in some time and couldn’t wait to see him. He’d been stressed lately about a lot of things in his personal life and needed the warm, reassuring presence of someone he loved and trusted completely.

As he stepped into the elevator, he thought back to his last video chat with Off. His soft, deep voice, those dark eyes that always seemed to see right through him.

_“Come stay with me for a while. We’ll be shooting for the next few days anyway.”_

_Gun tried to stop the smile from taking over his whole face. Off had invited him to stay over many times and he had invited himself more times than that, but Off had never left the invitation so open ended like this. He was a private person who liked his own space and only invited those closest to him to stay for a weekend at most. “Ok, Papii. I’ll see you on Thursday, then.”_

_“Mm. And bring a big suitcase. Can’t have you out here running out of outfits to wear, Mr. Fashionable.”_

_“Papii!” Gun couldn’t stop the grin from forming. “You’re going to take me shopping anyway so I won’t worry,” he teased._

_Off raised his eyebrows and tilted his head, “Oh ho. Is that so?”_

_Gun smiled just enough to let his dimples show, “When have you ever been able to say no to me, Papii?”_

_Off laughed, “You got me there, Gun Atthaphan.” His expression sobered. “How are you? I’ve been worried about you.”_

_“I’m ok, Papii. Especially knowing that I get to see you in a few days.”_

_“I’m always here if you need anything, you know that, right? If you need to talk, if you need anything …”_

_Gun felt tears welling in his eyes and tried his best to fight them back, “I know, Papii. I’ll see you soon.”_

_Off’s eyes were so soft. “I’ll see you soon.”_

Gun had no idea he could love one person this much but here he was, head over heels for his best friend and coworker. He didn’t know when exactly it had happened, just that Off was the first person he wanted to see in the morning and the last person he wanted to see before he closed his eyes at night. He made Gun feel special, interesting and he always laughed at his stupid jokes. Being the focus of Off’s attention felt like basking in a warm patch of sunlight. He didn’t give it to just anyone and Gun was greedy enough to want it on him all the time. While he was known for being aloof, he wasn’t like that with Gun, even if he had tried to resist his charms in the beginning. Being the playful, sociable person he was, Gun couldn’t resist the challenge from the day they met. He wasn’t about to let Off keep their relationship strictly professional and distant. It didn’t hurt that Off was tall and handsome and always sweet to him, despite his early reluctance to accept any form of physical affection. He could admit to himself that he had been more shameless with Off than he ever had with anyone else. 

He was surprised he hadn’t realized sooner how deep his feelings ran. He had always wanted those eyes on him, those firm hands, wanted to breathe him in and rub himself all over him like a cat staking ownership. Gun knew he had annoyed him sometimes, especially in the beginning but Off had never pushed him away, had never been short with him, had never had a mean word to say to him or anyone else. But god help anyone who even looked at Gun wrong. He was so protective he let Gun win every competition they’d ever been in. And Gun was too busy reveling in being the focus of those protective instincts to be offended on his own behalf. He wasn’t a baby but he knew he could let his guard down completely around him. Off made him feel safe and cherished. 

The elevator dings at Off’s floor and Gun lugs his biggest suitcase down the hall, wishing he’d called Off as soon as he’d reached his building. He knocks politely when he reaches his door and it opens almost instantly to reveal Off’s familiar, smiling face. “Papii.”

Off grins and cranes his neck to look over Gun’s shoulder, “So you did bring your big one. Good.” He places a gentle hand on Gun’s upper back and guides him into the condo before turning to grab his suitcase.

Gun shivers at the contact. How had he gone so long without it? Toeing off his shoes, he wanders further into the familiar space and inhales the scent of something delicious wafting from the kitchen. “Are you cooking for me, Papii?” He approaches the simmering pot on the stove and lifts the lid to reveal some kind of curry.

“It’s nothing special, just thought you might be hungry when you got here. If you’re not hungry yet, we can eat it later,” Off says, wandering into the kitchen behind Gun.

Gun feels his presence at his back and immediately turns around, plastering himself against him, clinging as if his life depends on it. He feels arms come around him, pressing him even closer and he sinks into Off’s embrace, sighing in relief. He doesn’t realize he’s trembling until he feels a familiar hand rubbing tender circles on his back.

“Hey, hey … it’s ok. It’s ok.”

Pressing his face into Off’s chest, Gun feels tears pricking at the corners of his eyes and tries to blink them back. “I feel so stupid.”

“You’re not. Do you want to talk about it?”

Gun sighs, “Not really. I just want …”

“Whatever you need. I’m here.”

Instead of answering, Gun pulls back and takes Off’s hand, leading him over to the couch and pushing him to lay back on it before climbing into his lap and then laying down on top of him. As usual, Off lets him position them as he pleases, tangling their legs together and pressing his face into his favorite spot against Off’s neck. He presses gentle kisses there as he feels one of Off’s arms come around his back while the other one cups the back of his head, fingers carding gently through his hair. Gun almost purrs in contentment and feels all of the tension leave his body. This is exactly what he needed. What he’s been craving for months.

“Movie?” Off asks after a while. He’s still caressing the back of Gun’s head and Gun could easily fall asleep like this but not yet. He doesn’t want to leave this bubble of perfect intimacy just yet.

“Mm,” he agrees, too drowsy to form a coherent sentence.

“Sorry, baby, I’m gonna have to get up to get the remote.”

Gun moans in protest as he feels Off shift beneath him, “Nooo, Papii, I didn’t say you could move!” He lifts his head up to meet Off’s amused gaze.

“Ok, ok, c’mere,” he shifts the hand on Gun’s back down under his ass and lifts them both easily off the couch, shuffling them over to the TV to grab the remote.

This position is almost as good, Gun decides, as we wraps his legs around Off’s waist and his arms around his neck. If only he could get Off to leave that hand in this position when they lay back down.

Off pauses on his way back to the couch and glances towards the kitchen, “When did you last eat? Are you sure you’re not hungry?”

“Papiii. I don’t want to eat. I just want you.”

Off pulls away to look down at him sternly, “If we lie back down you’re going to fall asleep like you always do and I won’t be able to wake you. We have an early shoot in the morning and I’m not letting you go to bed hungry.”

“Fine but I want to eat in the living room,” Gun pouts.

“I knew I should have bought those fancy TV trays I saw at the mall,” he mutters to himself as he places the remote control on the coffee table and sets Gun back on the couch. Or tries to set Gun down.

Gun clings to him stubbornly and hums in satisfaction when he feels Off give in and carry them both into the kitchen. He gives in to Gun on most things but he’s being particularly indulgent today with Gun’s clinginess. He doesn’t know if Off feels anything for him beyond friendship but he knows that he would do anything for him and that’s enough for now.

He sets him down on the counter and goes about finding bowls and spoons for the curry.

“Thank you.”

Off looks up from spooning curry into the bowls, “You don’t need to thank me. Just let me take care of you.”

Gun feels himself melting into those warm brown eyes. Honestly, how could he not have fallen in love with this man? “Ok, Papii.” Flustered, he looks down. Gun prides himself on being open and shameless with his affections and it really isn’t fair how easily Off can fluster him just by being sweet like this.

He feels Off approach him and then the soft press of lips against his forehead, “C’mon, let’s eat.”

❊ ❊ ❊

Later, Gun curls against Off in bed, pressing his face into his neck and breathing him in. Off sighs and wraps one of his arms around him, pulling him closer. Gun presses sucking kisses against his neck.

Off looks up from his phone, “Easy, easy, you’re gonna leave a mark.”

Gun throws one of his legs over him and nips at his neck, “Good. They should know that you’re mine.”

Off chuckles, “Everyone already knows.”

“Not everyone.”

“Mm.”

“Papii?”

“Mhm?”

“Thank you,” he places his hand over Off’s mouth when he begins to protest. “I mean it. Thank you for being here for me, for inviting me to stay. You’ve always been there for me and I really feel so lucky to have you in my life.”

Off pushes up into a sitting position to lean over him and even in the low light cast by the lamp next to the bed, Gun can see the worry in his eyes, “Gun, did someone hurt you? If something’s wrong, I want to help.”

“Papii, don’t worry. It’s nothing serious. It’s just … not everyone can be as wonderful as you.” Gun very deliberately does not mention the disturbing fan mail he’d received recently. Two letters with no postmark, left a day apart from each other under his front door, both in the same messy scrawl. He’d been there when his housekeeper found them and had convinced her not to call the police after finding the second one. He was going to visit Off anyway and was hoping they would just … stop. He really didn’t need something else to be stressed about and he didn’t want to worry anyone, especially not Off.

He feels Off’s hand cup his face, “Gun, you deserve good friends and good people around you. People who care about you and appreciate you. Anyone who doesn’t know how lucky they are to have you in their life is a fool.”

“Papiii,” Gun buries his face against Off’s shoulder and feels himself flush all over. It’s a good thing Off can’t really see him right now and he’s very lucky that Gun has enough restraint not to lean over and kiss him senseless. With tongue. And proposition him right then and there. But he’s not ready to have that particular discussion with Off just yet or face the possible consequences to their friendship. He tells his hormones to calm down and pushes at Off’s shoulder to get him to lie back down beside him. “I love you. Let’s go to sleep.”

Off pulls him into his arms and hums in agreement.


	2. Chapter 2

Gun feels his heart freeze in his chest when he sees the envelope under the front door the next morning. Grateful that Off is still in the bedroom, he pulls the envelope out and prays it’s not what he thinks it is.

 _“To My Beloved”_ is written across the front of it in the same, familiar writing. Heart pounding, Gun opens the letter with shaking hands. How had this person found him? How had they even gotten into the building? Did they live here?!

_“Dear Gun,_

_I hope you’ve been enjoying my letters. I meant every word I wrote. You are the most beautiful, talented actor in the industry and I would give anything for a chance to fall at your feet and worship you like you deserve. I miss watching you through your windows. You always know just what to wear and should be on the cover of every magazine. But of course you’d look good in anything._

_Why did you have to come here and visit him? I can’t see you properly when you’re locked away like this. He doesn’t appreciate you like I do. None of them do. If he really deserved you, he would have made you his already and proudly proclaimed it to the world. But he didn’t and now he has forfeited his chance. Don’t you know I would do anything for you?_

_I can’t wait until we can finally be together. Then I can finally show you how much you mean to me._

_Sincerely,_

_Your Most Devoted Admirer”_

Gun crumples the letter and wills his heart to stop racing. _I miss watching you through your windows? I can’t wait until we can finally be together?!_ This is more serious that he thought and that was definitely a threat. But he really doesn’t want to deal with this right now. He wants to go to work and enjoy his day with Off. He wants Off to take him out to eat, to take him shopping and spoil him, to wander through their favorite park together and take pictures. He wants to shake off the dark cloud that’s been hanging over his head for the past few months and go back to normal, where he can be happy again and imagine what it would be like to really be Off’s boyfriend and come home to him every night. Not deal with _this_.

He only has a moment to debate whether to show the letter to Off before he enters the kitchen, smiling and looking so handsome it hurts.

“So, Mr. Atthaphan, what’ll it be for breakfast?” He rubs his hands together, raising a brow.

Gun smiles and shoves the letter into his back pocket. He’s not going to let some creep ruin his day.

❊ ❊ ❊

The sun is high in the sky when the director calls for a break. Gun sighs in relief and wipes a bead of sweat off his forehead.

Off cups the back of his neck and steers him towards one of the studio buildings. “Why don’t you go in and find a seat? I’ll get us some drinks.” 

Gun leans into his touch and follows him into the cool air conditioning. 

“I’ll be right back, ok?” Off squeezes the nape of his neck before letting go, his touch lingering.

Gun nods before slumping over in one of the chairs against the panel of windows at the front of the building and thinks about using Off as his personal body pillow when he comes back. He’s still getting used to Off returning his touches and sometimes he doesn’t even know what to do with himself when Off initiates things on his own. But he’s definitely not complaining. He’s been touching him a lot more often during this visit in particular, as if sensing Gun’s need for it right now.

He hears footsteps approaching from down the hall and a bottle of tea appears in his line of vision. “Off told me to give this to you.”

He lifts his head and takes the bottle, “Thanks, P’Godji.”

“He ran into Tay in the other building and says he’ll be right back.”

“P’Tay’s here?” Gun would love to see him but he’s still feeling hot and kind of groggy from filming in the late morning sun.

“Mm. But he has to leave soon for a shoot across the city. By the way, the director says he wants everyone back in position in thirty minutes.”

Gun nods and watches her walk away before slumping back over to lie on his side across two seats. Too sleepy to drink from the bottle right now, he hugs it to his chest and silently curses Tay for depriving him of his personal pillow.

He hears footsteps approaching again and jerks when he feels someone take hold of his shoulders and lift him up slightly, just enough for someone to sit down in the chair he was lying on before gently guiding him back into position on an unfamiliar lap. “Hi, Gun. You looked uncomfortable so I thought I could be your pillow.”

He stiffens and looks up into the face of a man who looks a little older than Off and Tay. He’s smiling widely and wearing a GMMTV shirt. He doesn’t look familiar but it’s not unusual for Gun not to recognize every staff member and he seems friendly enough but he is way too close for comfort and Gun is still on edge from reading that letter this morning. He tries to pull away and the man’s grip becomes iron, holding him in place.

“You don’t need to get up yet, Gun. Stay here and rest. You don’t have to be back on set for at least another 20 minutes.” The man slides one of his hands into his hair, massaging his scalp and Gun feels his skin crawl.

He tries to pull away again and is again easily subdued. Panic sets in and Gun begins to struggle in earnest, “Please, I have to go.”

The man makes shushing noises and rubs his hand up and down Gun’s arm, “Shh, just stay here with me for a while and rest, Gun. I’ll take care of you.”

“Please just let me go!” The man easily holds him down with one hand while the other one remains in his hair. He didn’t look that big. How is he so strong?

“Hey, get away from him!” Relief soars through him at the sound of Off’s voice and running footsteps.

The man finally lets him go and Gun stumbles into Off’s arms, trembling violently.

“Gun, Gun, look at me.”

Gun looks up into Off’s worried eyes and feels the wetness of tears on his face for the first time.

Off cups his face and then runs his hands all over him, “Are you ok? Did he hurt you?”

“I’m ok, Papii, really.”

Off looks up over his shoulder, “Who are you? What were you doing to him?”

Gun turns to see the man holding his hands up and backing away, “I didn’t do anything, I promise. I was just talking to him.”

“You weren’t _just talking to him_ ,” Gun has never heard Off use this tone of voice before. It’s cold and fierce. He gently maneuvers Gun to stand behind him and takes out his phone, directing his voice at the man who is now inching further and further away from them, “You, stay where you are. I’m calling security.” Everything about Off’s movements and tone of voice is careful and controlled, like he’s keeping himself on a tight leash. Gun wonders what would happen if he lost that control.

“Hey!”

The man makes a break for it and Off chases after him, catching up to him on the other side of the room and pushing him roughly against the wall.

Security chooses that moment to appear on the other side of the building, approaching at a run and the man uses Off’s momentary distraction to escape, darting towards the door by the windows. He’s _fast_. Gun watches as he races across the grounds, startling groups of the filming crew who are just beginning to set up again. The guards follow him but they aren’t nearly as fast as he is.

“Gun. Gun!” He didn’t even notice Off moving back towards him and blinks up into his handsome face which is filled with concern. His hands are cupping his shoulders and he runs them gently up and down his arms. Gun can’t help make the comparison between the way that man was rubbing his arm and the way Off is touching him now. Everything about Off makes him feel safe and protected and he’ll be seeing that man’s face and feeling his touch in his nightmares. “Gun, it’s ok. You’re safe now. Breathe.”

Gun realizes his chest is heaving and tries to calm his breathing but it doesn’t help much. He turns his head back towards the windows but the man and the guards have disappeared, “Did they catch him?”

He feels Off’s hands on his face, tilting his face up to meet his eyes again, thumbs tracing away the tears on his cheeks. Everything about the way he’s touching him so tender and gentle it makes Gun want to cry again, “Don’t worry about him, let them take care of it. I’m here now and he’s not getting near you again.” There’s something low and furious in Off’s voice that sends a shiver down Gun’s spine. “Do you know who he was?”

Gun shakes his head and buries his face in Off’s chest, feeling his arms come around him and pull him in close.

Things get a little chaotic after that as everyone starts flooding into the room and crowding around them, voices running into each other, filled with questions and concern.

“Enough!” Off’s voice rises above the chatter, “I’m taking him to a quiet room, please give him some space.” He nods to Godji who is closest to them and Gun lets himself be led down the hallway and into one of the smaller offices. There’s a small couch in there and Off sits down in the corner of it, pulling Gun down next to him.

Gun curls into his chest and sits half on top of him, allowing himself to be held as Off runs a hand up and down his back.

“What happened?”

“I don’t know. I found a man doing … _something_ to Gun and called security.” Off’s body has tensed beneath him and he’s speaking in that low, furious tone again, “He was wearing a staff shirt but I have a feeling he doesn’t work here.”

Godji curses quietly, “I’ll have to talk to security.”

Gun lifts his head from Off’s chest and looks at both of them, “I … have to tell you something.”

❊ ❊ ❊

“How’s your family handling this?”

Gun tucks himself into a ball on one end of Off’s couch and tries to keep his voice down, “They’re ok. Just worried. Off hired a bodyguard for them too.”

He hears the smile in Tay’s voice, “No expense spared when it comes to protecting his baby, huh?”

“Shut up. It’s only been three days and I’m already going stir crazy. He’s acting like I was attacked by a serial killer or something and he gets suspicious every time I try to use my phone. He still hasn’t forgiven me for not telling him about the letters.”

Tay is openly laughing at him, “Where is he now?”

“In the shower but he’ll be out soon. I swear he’s been taking 2 minute showers since this started.”

“Mmhmm. Still no word on stalker guy?”

“No, nothing’s changed. The police are still investigating and I’m still stuck in limbo.”

Tay’s voice turns serious, “How are you doing? Are you getting enough sleep, are you eating? I know you might feel a little … claustrophobic right now and he’s probably hovering over you like a mother hen but just let him take care of you, ok? He’s got a huge protective streak when it comes to the people he cares about, especially when it comes to you. Just let him pamper you and enjoy it.”

Gun sighs and tilts his head back against the couch, “It wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t feel like I _had_ to stay here for an indefinite period of time and never go out and barely communicate with anyone. And Off’s been tense about the whole situation from the beginning. It’s like trying to cuddle a stiff board half the time and don’t even get me started on trying to talk to him. He spends most of the day staring at the front door with his jaw clenched. He’s going to need dental surgery after this if he keeps it up.”

“Damn … uh, is he still not taking any visitors? I’d love to come over. Maybe help dispel some of the tension?”

Gun sighs even louder. He would love to see Tay or any of his other friends, for that matter, “I’ll ask him but I can’t promise anything.” He hears the shower turn off. “Maybe you can convince him but it really is like talking to a brick wall these days.”

“Gun, who are you talking to?” Off appears in the living room wearing only a towel, water droplets dripping from his hair and down his bare chest.

Gun admires the view. Off rarely goes around without a shirt on, sadly, so he must have leapt out of the shower as soon as he heard Gun’s voice in the living room. He isn’t perfectly sculpted like some of the actors in their industry but he has a nice chest. In fact, he has a nice everything and Gun would love to get a chance to … “Um, I’m just talking to P’Tay, Papii. He wants to come for a visit.”

“Absolutely not. This guy got onto your family’s private property, he infiltrated GMMTV’s studio. No one is going in or out of this condo until we know he’s in police custody.”

“Papiii --”

“I mean it. Let me talk to him.”

Tay is laughing again in his ear, “Good luck with that, Nong Gun.”

Reluctantly, Gun hands his phone over.

“I mean it, Tay, don’t come over right now. I don’t care how pitifully he begs you. It’s just safer to limit things like this right now.” He can’t hear what Tay says in reply but he’s sure it’s something placating. Off paces back and forth in front of the couch while he listens to whatever Tay is saying on the other end. 

He’s been doing that a lot lately when he’s not sitting tensely. Pacing around the condo like a caged tiger (or lion?). Gun smiles to himself at his own joke. Then he fantasizes about the towel around Off’s waist coming undone. He could probably get close enough to tug at the bottom edge of it if he leaned over but Off is definitely not in a teasing mood right now.

“I know. I know, ok? I’m just going crazy thinking about -- I know. I know, I’m trying. Ok. I’ll talk to you later.” He hangs up and thrusts the phone back towards him without even looking at Gun.

“Papii --”

“I’m getting dressed,” he’s already halfway to the bedroom.

Gun tries again, “Papii, please, can’t you even look at me?”

Off pauses and turns back to him, something dark and unreadable in his eyes, “I’m sorry. I know you’re sick of me acting like an overbearing prison warden. And there’s probably a million people who are far more pleasant than me that you’d rather be stuck with right now but I can’t …” he trails off before shaking his head and turning away again

Gun jumps off the couch and catches him in the bedroom doorway, wrapping his arms around his waist and resting his face against his back. “Papii, don’t say it like that. I just miss my friends and Bibi and my family. It’s hard having limited contact with them. There’s no one I feel safer with than you. There’s no one I’d rather be with right now than you.”

Off turns around and stares down at him but there’s still an unhappy twist to his mouth and his eyes are far away.

“Papii, don’t be mad at me anymore. I can’t stand it.”

“I’m not mad at you, I’m just …” He turns away again.

Gun grabs his hand to stop him and Off whirls around, something fierce in his eyes, “Promise me. Promise me you’ll never keep anything like that from me again.” His hands are gripping Gun’s shoulders so hard it’s almost painful but Gun is just grateful to be getting an emotion from him that isn't tightly wound frustration.

“I promise, Papii. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you. I was being stupid.”

Off shakes his head, “I just keep picturing him holding you down like that. He could have so easily dragged you out the back door and I would never see you again. Wouldn’t even know what happened to you,” his voice cracks. “What if there are other fans like that? I can’t fucking stand it. It’s driving me crazy thinking about it.”

Gun has had enough and pushes him into the bedroom towards the bed.

“Wait, I need to get dressed first,” Off protests as he’s shoved onto the bed.

Gun is far past caring about Off’s modesty. They both needed comfort right now and as always with their relationship, Off was getting Gun’s preferred form of intimacy, physical affection, whether he wanted it or not.

Straddling his waist, Gun leans over him and trails kisses down Off’s neck, “Shh, Papii, Papii, stop thinking about this. I’m right here. I’m fine. Nothing happened to me. Nothing’s going to happen to me.”

“You can’t know that,” Off mutters. “The way he talked about you in his letter. It’s like you were already his.”

Gun nips at his collarbone and ignores Off’s yelp. “I’m _yours_. Don’t you know that? I’ve been yours since the day we met. Do you think I kiss anyone else like this, touch anyone else like this? Do you think I call anyone else ‘Papii’?” 

Before he can catch his next breath, Off has flipped them over and Gun finds himself on his back with Off looming over him. Then Off is kissing him roughly, slanting his mouth over his again and again. 

Moaning into his mouth, Gun wraps his arms around his neck and tries to deepen their kisses, pressing his tongue against the seam of Off’s mouth. He has a nice mouth. Lips full and soft and Gun can’t believe he gets to feel them against his own again outside of a scripted scene. He can’t believe this is happening.

Dragging his lips away, Off moves his lips down Gun’s neck, getting bolder as he sucks kisses into the skin there. “Mine,” he whispers. “You’re mine.”

Gun throws his head back, “Papii, Papii, please …” He’s never been harder in his life and he grinds his hips up helplessly, shocked to find Off’s own hardness against his through the towel and the thin layer of his shorts. Wrapping his legs around Off’s hips, he moves against him and whimpers as he feels Off’s lips move down his neck to bite at his collarbone. “Papii, don’t stop. Please don’t stop.” He grabs the sides of Off’s face and pulls him back up to his mouth, sighing as he feels Off’s lips open against his, his tongue sliding in to stroke against his own. Running his hands down Off’s back greedily, he grabs one of his hands and pushes it under his shirt, “Please, Papii, touch me.”

Off slides his hand up Gun’s side under his shirt and he trembles at the contact. He’s always liked Off’s hands and he wants them on him all the time.

Feeling impatient, he separates them and surges up to yank his t-shirt off over his head. When he meets Off’s eyes, they’re heavy lidded and almost black with desire. His eyes drop down to roam over his exposed chest and his voice his husky when he speaks, “You’re so … you’re so fucking beautiful. You could have anyone and you’re letting me …”

Gun wants to shake him and also hunt down whoever made him question himself like this. He pulls him back down and kisses him fiercely, “I don’t want anyone else. I want _you_.”

Off meets his eyes again before leaning down and mouthing at the hollow of his throat, dragging his lips down his chest before stopping over one of his nipples.

He arches up when he feels Off’s tongue against him and gasps when he feels lips wrap around the sensitive point and suck. “Papii -- _ah_!” He grabs the back of Off’s head and holds him there, so turned on he can’t even think straight. He cries out when he feels him move to his other nipple to give it the same attention and suddenly he’s so close he doesn’t even have time to think about it before his hips are surging up against Off’s hardness one more time and he’s coming apart. He clutches at Off’s shoulders and gasps out as wave after wave of pleasure rolls through him.

“Shh, I’ve got you. I’ve got you,” Off holds him close and nuzzles at his chest.

Gun knows he should probably feel embarrassed that he just came in his pants without even being touched and he’s going to feel sticky and uncomfortable in a minute but he feels too good to dwell on any of that right now. He’s just about to reach up and pull the towel around Off’s waist the rest of the way off when he hears a knock at the front door.

They both freeze.

The door opens. “Mr. Adulkittiporn, I’m here to make my nightly report.” It’s Mew Suppasit, the night bodyguard Off hired and he’s coming further into the condo, towards the bedroom.

“Fuck!” Off rolls off of him and leaps off the bed, grabbing frantically for the pair of shorts on the back of the chair by his desk. The towel has come off completely at this point and Gun watches mournfully as he covers up his nakedness. From what little he could catch a glimpse of, Off is still hard. 

He turns to Gun and doesn’t even pause before picking him up and practically throwing him in the bathroom. Gun squawks indignantly and catches sight of the bodyguard coming into the room just as the door closes in his face.

Muttering to himself, he strips his shorts and briefs off and steps into the shower. Honestly, who cares if the bodyguard saw them on the bed together? Gun wants the whole world to know that Off Jumpol, the most handsome, charming man he’s ever known, is his. His lover. Or, at least he hopes he is. He tilts his face up into the warm water and lets himself bask in the memory of being underneath Off, of being the focus of those dark eyes, of feeling all of that pent up tension come apart under his hands. He doesn’t know what they are to each other right now but they can talk about that later. Right now all he wants to do is get his hands on Off again and return the favor.

When he gets out of the shower, Gun finds Off and Mew sitting at the kitchen table. They both look solemn and they aren’t talking.

“What’s going on?” Mew has never lingered after giving his nightly reports.

Off looks up at him and reaches a hand out to pull him closer, “They found him.”

Gun freezes.

“They’re holding him for questioning for the next 24 hours,” Mew says, rising from the table.

Gun stares at him and then Off, “Are you sure it’s him? How did they find him?”

Off pulls him over to stand between his legs, gently squeezing his hands, “It’s him. I confirmed it.”

“Can I see? I just want --”

Off shakes his head, “I’ve confirmed it. You don’t need to see him.”

Gun frowns and pulls away from him, “You don’t get to make that decision for me.”

“Baby, I don’t want you to have to see his face ever again.” He stands up and tries to pull Gun back towards him but Gun moves away.

He looks at Mew, “Show me.”

Mew has been politely staring off into the distance but he turns to him and nods, pulling out a tablet and turning it so Gun can see it.

It’s the man from the studio. The one with average build and average height. The one who was strong enough to hold him down with one hand and fast enough to escape from two highly trained guards. He’s sitting at a table in a room and staring up at the camera, grinning.

Gun shudders and looks away, “Thank you.”

Mew nods to both of them and leaves, closing and locking the door behind him.

Off approaches him, “Nong Gun, are you all right?”

“I want to go shopping.”

“What?”

“Tomorrow. Take me out to eat and then take me shopping.” Gun crosses his arms and dares him to argue.

Off is frowning and looking at him like he’s grown three heads, “No. It’s too risky. I’m not letting you leave this condo until I know it’s safe.”

Gun is so ready for this fight because he knows he’s going to win. He always does, “You said I could leave the condo when he’s in police custody. He’s in police custody for the next 24 hours. We can bring both bodyguards. I’m not going to let some creep terrorize me into cowering away from the world when I could be doing something that makes me happy with someone I love.”

Off sputters.

“I’m calling P’Tay and asking him to bring P’Arm and P’New if he’s around.”

“Now, wait a minute --”

Gun turns around and delivers the final blow, “If you want to lock me up in this condo so bad, you’re going to have to make it more interesting. Why not tie me to the bed and have your way with me whenever you want? But never mind that, we’re going out tomorrow. We can do that another day.”

Off makes a choking sound and starts coughing. Probably choking on his own spit. It’s not Gun’s problem.

Retrieving his phone from the coffee table, Gun calls Tay to tell him the good news.

❊ ❊ ❊

Gun thinks he may have broken him. He’s been sitting up in bed and staring at the wall for the past 20 minutes. After his phone call with Tay, he’d gone quiet and tense again, his brows drawn together in that perpetual expression of helpless frustration he’d been wearing since this whole thing started. Deciding that enough is enough, Gun crawls on top of him and presses tender kisses all over his face, leaning over to blow against his ear.

Off shudders but otherwise doesn’t move.

“Papii, I’m sorry. I’m not trying to stress you out. But I need this right now. I need to feel normal, like I’m not letting some pervert control me and my life.”

Off sighs and wraps his arms around him, pulling him into a tight embrace, “I know. I just can’t help but worry about the worst case scenario. I don’t even know what I would do if he got hold of you again. I don’t even want to think about it.” He squeezes tighter, “I can’t lose you.”

Leaning down to rest their foreheads together, Gun reaches out to massage his shoulders, “You won’t. I’m not going anywhere. Now let me take care of you. You’re too tense.”

Groaning, Off leans into his touch as he digs his hands into his stiff shoulders.

After a few minutes of this, Gun draws one of his hands slowly down his torso, “I could …”

Off stops him and brings his hand to his mouth, “It’s ok. You don’t need to do that.”

“But I want to. You never -- when we were together, you didn’t …”

“When I close my eyes all I see is that smug face of his grinning up at me and then I think about finding him tomorrow and making sure he never has anything to smile about again.” Off has gone tense beneath him again and his eyes are distant.

Gun sighs, “Papiii, please stop thinking about him. He’s locked away right now. I don’t want him to ruin my day tomorrow.” He tilts Off’s face up to his, “Think about me instead.”

Off stares up at him, “I always do.”

Trying to be as cute and distracting as possible, Gun smiles just enough to show his dimples and tilts his head, “What are you going to buy me tomorrow?”

“Whatever you want.”

“A diamond collar for Bibi.”

Off winces and smiles up at him, “Like I said, whatever you want.”

Biting his lip, he looks down through his lashes, “Are you sure? I’m very expensive, you know.”

Laughing, Off tackles him onto the bed and rains kisses over his face and neck.

Gun shrieks and tries to push him away but he’s too busy giggling to try very hard.

Off leans over and presses his mouth against his ear, “Worth every satang.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a content warning, this chapter gets pretty intense so please ensure to heed the tags on this fic.

“Gun!”

Gun is enveloped in a tangle of arms and broad shoulders as soon as he steps out of the car and onto the sidewalk outside the restaurant. Tay lifts him clear off the ground and spins him around in a circle. Gun throws his arms around him, laughing in delight, “P’Tay! P’Arm!”

“We missed you! Are you ok? How are you doing?” Arm is patting his back as Tay continues to spin him in circles.

“I’m fine. Just glad you guys could come,” Gun can’t keep the grin off his face.

“Put him down, Tay. You’re going to make him dizzy before a meal.” Off does not sound amused.

Tay puts him down and Gun runs over to take Off’s hand, lacing their fingers together, “Papii, you’re not allowed to be grumpy today. This is my day and I want everyone to be happy and have fun.”

Off is still giving Tay a look but he squeezes their hands together and lets himself be led towards the restaurant.

“Let’s eat!”

❊ ❊ ❊

“Try more of this, Papii, it’s really good,” Gun serves him from the oyster dish sitting between them.

Off smiles at him across the table then looks at his empty plate, “Are you still hungry? Do you want to order anything else?”

“No, I’m full, Papii,” he smiles back at him and rubs his foot against Off’s under the table like he’s been doing off and on throughout the meal. His eyes fall on the plate in front of Tay, who’s sitting next to Off, still half full of tiny sausages. “Well, maybe just one more …” he picks up one of them with his chopsticks and brings it to his lips, meeting Off’s eyes as he slowly pushes it into his mouth.

Off’s eyes widen and he blushes, turning away to take a drink from the glass in front of him.

Tay raises his eyebrows, “I’m sorry, are we interrupting something?”

Gun kicks him under the table. If this is going to be his only possible day of freedom for some time, Gun is going to enjoy every minute of it. He’s been fantasizing about dating Off forever and if he wants to pretend that this entire day is one long, perfect date then he will.

“Where’s P’New?” he counters.

“Out of town. Says he wants to adopt a cat soon. Is Bibi missing you?”

Gun smiles, Newwie loves cats. “She’s used to me being away sometimes but I miss her. I’ve been video calling with her and my family, though.”

“Is everyone done?” When everyone nods, Off signals for their waiter.

“Did you guys want to go anywhere in particular?” He directs his question mostly at Tay and Arm as he knows Off won’t be leaving his side today. The two bodyguards sitting at the table beside them don’t look up but he can tell they’re listening intently. It’s going to be a little awkward having them follow them around today but Gun’s not going to let that stop him from enjoying himself.

Tay shrugs, “Nowhere in particular.”

“I’m looking for a new jacket,” Arm offers.

Gun brightens, “Me too! Let’s go.”

They enter the mall which connects to the restaurant and Gun takes Off’s hand, lacing their fingers together. It’s not the weekend and it’s surprisingly crowded for a weekday. Off tugs him closer to his side and he feels warm all over.

Gun stops in front of a Gucci store they’re passing and calls out to Arm who’s walking ahead of them beside Tay, “P’Arm!” He jerks his head towards the store.

Arm looks back and nods, following them into the store with Tay and the bodyguards trailing behind them.

Gun decides on something fun and floral that reminds him of summer and lets Off pay for it. He’s not going to let him buy everything for him today but it’s nice to be spoiled a little by the man he’s in love with. He gets Off to try on jackets too and tries not to drool over how good he looks in the leather jacket he picks out for him. Tay snickers from somewhere behind him and he turns around to give him a dirty look.

“Papii, you should get this one. You look so handsome.”

Off turns to look at Tay and Arm who both have jackets slung over their arms and are admiring the belt selection, “Someone around here has to be financially responsible.”

Gun sticks his tongue out at him and laughs as Off makes a funny face back. He takes Off’s arm and turns back to Tay and Arm, who are now at the register, “Let’s go somewhere else.”

They nod and follow them out of the store, the bodyguards remaining close by.

They pass a sunglasses store and Gun tugs on Off’s arm to stop him, “Papii …”

Off raises an eyebrow at him, “I’ve seen your collection of sunglasses, Gun Atthaphan. How many do you need?”

“Papiii,” Gun pouts up at him. Tay is snickering again and Gun turns to give him a look that promises retribution later. 

Tay grins at him and waves, following Arm into a store across the walkway, “See you later, Nong Gun! We’re going to look at shoes.”

Gun tugs Off into the store and, to his credit, restrains himself to two pairs and only tries on _most_ of the sunglasses in the store, not all of them. Honestly, Off should be proud of him. He tries to pay for the ones he picked out himself but Off stops him and when he tries to buy the pair with purple lenses that Off was admiring, he stops him again.

“Papii, let me buy you something.”

Off takes the bag from the woman at the register and leads him out of the store, “Today is about you, remember?”

Gun smiles up at him as Off puts his arm around his shoulders and pulls him close, “Papii, it’s about you too. I want to spend time with you and I want you to enjoy yourself too.”

Off gazes down at him and there’s something soft in his eyes, “Being with you is enough for me.”

Feeling himself flush all over, Gun gently smacks him, “Papii!” 

There’s excited voices behind them and Gun turns to find a group of girls giggling together with their phones out and pointed at them.

Gun waves at them but Off curses and grabs his arm, pulling him away down another walkway as the two bodyguards quickly shield them from view.

“They’re going to put those pictures on social media,” Off’s face has closed off again.

Gun sighs, “Papii, I thought we weren’t going to talk about him today.” Thankfully he ends up distracting both of them when he sees a toy store up ahead. He grabs Off’s hand and pulls them into the store, gushing over their selection of adorable stuffed animals.

Kneeling down in the aisle, he’s soon surrounded by a mountain of stuffed animals. He holds each one up for critical examination and laughs when he finds a lion with a shaggy mane, “This one reminds me of you, Papii.”

Off stares down at him in amusement, his hands on his hips, “Say whaaat?”

“Well, he’s shaggy and kind of scraggly like --” he giggles as Off takes the lion and hits him with it. He reaches up to wrestle it away from him and Off ends up toppling over on top of him and the mountain of stuffed animals.

Off pushes himself up on his arms so he’s leaning over him, “Are you ok?”

Their faces are so close together and suddenly Gun wishes they were back at Off’s condo, “I’m fine, Papii.”

Off’s eyes drop down to his lips and linger there. Gun wishes he would kiss him. Finally, he pushes himself up and helps Gun to his feet. “All right, which ones are we taking?”

He settles on a modest three, including the shaggy lion, of course, and makes sure not to get anything too big for them to carry. Really, he’s being very reasonable with his shopping today.

Off slips his arm around his shoulders again as they exit the store, still insisting on carrying all of the bags, “So where to next?”

Gun smiles up at him sweetly, “Chanel.”

“Ohh, of course. I should have known. I imagine you know where it is?”

“Of course.”

The store is full of new clothes for the season and Gun was really only going to buy one or two outfits but he ends up sending Off back and forth to the changing room several times. He doesn’t complain once although Gun doesn’t miss the significant look he shares with Mew who’s standing just inside the changing room corridor when he returns to Gun’s room with another armful of clothes.

“Thank you, Papii,” he leans up to kiss his cheek before taking the pile of clothes from him and hanging them up in his room.

“Mhm,” Off takes the smaller pile he hands to him to return to the store racks.

Gun places a hand on his arm before he leaves, “Come back soon,” he squeezes before letting go, “there’s something I want to show you.”

Off gives him a quizzical look but nods, “Uh, sure. Be right back.”

He hadn’t planned on doing this but he really couldn’t help himself. Off had been acting like a perfect, sweet boyfriend the entire day and how was he supposed to resist that? Sometimes he even surprises himself with his own boldness when it comes to Off, although he should really be used to it by now. He’s never felt like this about anyone and as he’d told Off last night, he doesn’t treat anyone else the way he treats Off. How many times had he clung to him like a koala, in front of people and in private, pressing long, slow kisses into his neck? How many times had he crawled into his lap or used him as a pillow. He was a physically affectionate person by nature but he’d gone well past his usual boundaries with other people long ago. And now that he’d gotten a taste of what he’d been fantasizing about for so long, he couldn’t seem to help himself.

As soon as he hears a knock on the dressing room door, he opens it and pulls Off into the room, closing and locking the door behind him.

“Gun, what are you --”

He pushes Off onto the bench seat that runs across one of the walls and climbs into his lap, wrapping his arms around his neck and kissing him.

Off makes a surprised sound but is soon kissing him back, taking control of the kiss and tilting his face at a better angle to kiss him deeper. His other hand is on his hip, holding him firmly in place.

Gun tries to hold himself back as much as possible, conscious of where they are, but his self control has always been shaky when it comes to Off Jumpol. When Off’s mouth moves down his neck and then back up again to nip at his ear and tug the lobe into his mouth, Gun can’t help the moan that stutters out or from shifting himself restlessly in Off’s lap.

“You’re killing me, you know that?” Both of Off’s hands are now on his ass, stopping him from shifting any further.

Gun makes a frustrated sound and tries to pull his face back down but Off turns away.

“We can’t, baby, not here.”

When Gun meets his eyes, his pupils are blown wide and he’s flushed and panting. Gun is grateful to not be the only one affected. He plants kisses over his face, “You’re being so sweet to me today. I wanted to thank you.”

Off moves his hands up to his sides and pushes him back. He’s frowning, “Gun, I don’t expect anything from you. You know that, right?”

Gun nods and slides one of his hands down to his thigh, gently kneading, “I know. I want to do this. I want … Tonight, can we …?” Suddenly feeling shy, he buries his face against Off’s chest.

Off’s hand moves under his chin and lifts it up to meet his eyes, “Are you sure? We don’t have to rush into anything. We can go slow.”

Gun tries to stifle his huff of impatience, he really does, but it comes out anyway, “I’m so tired of waiting. I know what I want. I’ve wanted it for a long time. I want you inside me.” He takes Off’s hand and places it on his bare leg for emphasis. He’d worn shorts today for a reason. He hasn’t missed the way Off’s eyes linger on his legs when he wears shorts.

“Fuck, what are you doing to me …” the hand on Gun’s thigh tightens and Off leans his forehead against his.

Gun takes his other hand and moves it helpfully back over his ass. These shorts also showed off another one of his features that Off seems very fond of.

“Nong Gun, behave.”

“Papii, do you want to go slow?” He’d meant to ask this sooner but he’d been a little distracted. “We can, if you want to. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” Suddenly feeling a little flustered at his own shamelessness, he tries to shift back off of Off’s lap but Off stops him and holds him in place.

Suddenly, both of Off’s hands are back on his ass, squeezing hard and pulling him forward. His mouth captures his in a searing kiss and Gun moans, losing himself in the moment as Off opens his mouth and slides his tongue against his. When he pulls away, he’s breathing hard and his eyes have gone heavy lidded, “I don’t want to go slow either. I want you in my bed and I don’t want to let you out of it tomorrow.”

Gun’s mind goes completely blank for a second and then he surges forward to press his lips against Off’s once again, if only to stop him from saying anything else. It’s embarrassing how close to the edge he is just from hearing those words. He pulls back to leave a trail of tiny kisses down Off’s neck, “Papii … let’s go --”

The sound of a ringtone breaks the quiet of the moment and Gun jumps in Off’s lap. He climbs off of him shakily and watches as Off pulls his phone out. His voice is husky when he answers it, “Hello? Sure, Tay. We’ll meet you there.” There’s a pause, then, “Shut up.”

Gun smiles to himself and tries to calm down, smacking his palms against his flushed cheeks. Tay is one of his favourite people in the whole world and he’s always valued his friendship. He makes everyone around him feel good, including Off, and Gun will always be grateful to have him in his life. As much as he may joke around and tease, he’s a kind person and his intentions are always good. He reminds Gun of Off in that way and it’s not surprising that they’re so close. There’s no question that he’ll be teasing them both relentlessly when he finds out but Gun also knows for certain that he’ll be supportive and will do anything in his power to help them protect their privacy.

Off hangs up and meets his eyes, “They want us to meet them at the food court. They’re getting ice cream,” his eyes drop down and linger on Gun’s legs.

Gun bites his lip and watches as Off’s eyes move up to stare blatantly at his mouth, “Ok, Papii. I think I’ve had enough shopping for today.”

❊ ❊ ❊

The food court is crowded when they arrive and Tay and Arm wave them over to a table. They’ve already got cups of ice cream in front of them.

Tay eyes the shopping bags Off sets down on the floor next to him, “So how’s the shopping going?”

Off nods at him distractedly and Tay turns to give him a suspicious look, “Nong Gun, what have you done to my best friend? He looks shell shocked and you …” he eyes him up and down, “you look like the cat that just got the cream.”

Gun smiles at him sweetly, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, P’Tay. I’m as innocent as a lamb.”

“Innocent as a lamb, my ass. Oh, hey --” he looks up at Off who has risen from his seat and is now at his side, pulling him up from the table.

“Tay and I are going to get some ice cream,” Off smiles down at him and squeezes his shoulder. “Don’t go anywhere, ok?” He turns to the bodyguards sitting at the table next to them and then to Arm, “Keep an eye on him for me?”

They all nod and Off and Tay disappear into the crowd.

Gun catches up with Arm while he’s waiting and admires his new bag. When Off returns, he’s carrying two cups of ice cream with no Tay in sight.

“Where’s P’Tay?”

“Oh he -- he forgot to pick up something for his mom. He’ll be right back.”

Off’s ears are red and Gun looks at him curiously but decides to drop it. He has other things to attend to, “I’ll be right back. I’m just going to the bathroom.” He rises from the table and watches in resignation as both bodyguards stand up as well. He turns to Off who is now also standing beside him, “Both of them and you? Really?”

“All of us,” Off’s face brooks no argument.

Gun sighs and lets Off take his hand. His day of freedom is quickly slipping through his fingers. At least he has tonight and … _all day tomorrow_ to look forward to. He shivers at the thought.

Arm gives him a sympathetic smile and raises his spoon, “I’ll watch the bags!”

The corridor to the bathroom is crowded with people and Off pulls him close so that he’s snug against his side under his arm. The bodyguards flank the back and front of him and Gun feels hemmed in on all sides.

In an instant, everything goes dark. Off curses and pulls him into his arms as the crowd of people in the corridor shifts and grows louder. Small emergency lights flicker on and then suddenly, chaos erupts as the fire alarm pierces through the noise of the crowd. Off’s arms tighten around him as people push past them, jostling him against Off. Mew has taken hold of one of Off’s arms and is trying to guide them towards the nearest wall but there’s so many people rushing past that they both almost trip and fall several times.

“Back off!” Off’s arm is like a vice around him as he tries to shield him from the crowd.

The other bodyguard, Zee something, is behind them and is also trying to move them towards the wall but someone falls into him and he lurches forward, almost knocking both of them to the ground. Off’s grip on him loosens and Gun falls against someone, “Sorry, I --” Gun freezes when he feels a hand close over his arm, gripping it so tightly he almost loses circulation.

Before he can process what’s happening, he’s being dragged forward further down the corridor in the opposite direction of the crowd. He hears Off’s voice calling his name but it’s growing fainter as he’s dragged forcibly down the corridor and down another hallway that connects to it. He can’t break the man’s hold on his arm and with dawning horror, he realizes what’s happening, “No. Please no.” It’s _him_. The man from the studio. The man who’s supposed to be in police custody right now. Gun can’t see the man’s face but he’s sure it’s him. He remembers that iron grip and how fast he was. He’s pulling Gun around like he weighs nothing. “Let me go!”

He’s pulled to a halt in front of a door and the man opens it, shoving him inside. Gun makes a run for the door and tries to push past him but it’s like hitting a brick wall. He bounces off of him and falls to the floor.

“I can’t do that. And I don’t think you want that either, Gun.”

Gun looks up into the eyes of the man from the studio. He’s smiling and looks so deceptively normal and almost handsome that it’s unsettling. It’s his eyes that give him away. The way his eyes are boring holes into him makes Gun’s skin crawl and he scrambles to his feet, backing away as the man advances on him, “Stay away from me!”

“Gun, my sweet Nong. We can finally be together.”

“Stop! Don’t call me that!” Gun feels his shoulders hit something metal -- shelving against one of the walls. They’re in some kind of cramped utility room and Gun needs to find a way around him to escape.

“You look so beautiful today, Gun. Your legs always look so lovely in shorts and you should wear your shirt tucked in like that more often. It really shows off that slim little waist of yours.” His face changes, “Or did you wear that for _him_?”

“I told you to stay away from me!”

The man stops, “He’s been keeping you away from me. But you’re mine now.”

“Please, just let me go. I won’t tell anyone about this.”

The man pulls something out of his pocket and Gun panics when he sees that it’s a handkerchief. He lunges at him with his hand outstretched and Gun kicks him as hard as he can, right in the crotch. The man howls in fury and clutches at himself but he doesn’t go down and suddenly there’s a cloth being shoved against his face and Gun is almost overwhelmed with the smell of chemicals.

He manages to dart away and roll to the ground before the man can press the handkerchief fully against his face. Scrambling to his feet, he makes a break for the door but he’s caught before he can reach it and shoved against one of the shelves.

“Don’t think I won’t hurt you, Gun,” he’s breathing in his face, voice low and menacing.

Gun knows he should be terrified but he’s full of adrenaline and underneath that, blinding fury. _How dare he? How dare this man decide that his obsession justifies doing this, terrorizing him and taking away his freedom._ He’s always done the best he can in the face of every obstacle he’s had to face and he’s managed to carve out his own little pocket of success and happiness. He has people he loves who depend on him, friends who mean so much to him, he has _Off_ and he’s not going to let this man take all of that away from him.

He spits in the man’s face and almost immediately feels something hard crack against his cheekbone, the man’s fist. He sees stars for a minute and stumbles to his knees, the hit to the face and the effects of the chemical he’d inhaled making him slow and sluggish. Determined, he crawls towards the door, kicking backwards when he feels a hand close around his ankle. He’s not letting it end like this. He can’t.

The grunt behind him tells him he managed to connect with the man’s face. Knowing that this may be his only chance to escape, Gun lurches to his feet and wrenches the door open, all but falling into a dark, empty hallway. He calls out but is met with silence. Thankfully the emergency lights have come on and Gun is sure he saw an exit sign at the end of the main corridor. The door opens behind him and he takes off down the hallway, hoping he’s going in the right direction.

“Gun, I’m not letting you get away this time.”

The man’s voice is too close and Gun remembers how fast he is, terror flooding through him and giving him enough of an adrenaline surge to pull ahead, finally reaching the main corridor. The exit sign is at the end and Gun uses all the strength he has left to bolt towards it, finally reaching the door and slamming against it, stumbling out into a dark parking garage. “Help me! Somebody please help me!” He looks around but he doesn’t see anyone and his heart fills with despair when he hears the door open behind him and the man emerges. He’s smiling and moving slowly towards him, as if he has all the time in the world.

“Please, someone!” Gun turns and runs towards the end of the parking garage where he’s sure it slopes down towards the next level. It’s hard to see but he’s able to get ahead of the man behind him by darting in between parked cars. But his strength is waning and the effects of whatever he inhaled are making him slow and dizzy. Feeling panic set in, he fumbles in his pocket for his phone, taking the risk of slowing down and desperately trying to key in his lock code with shaking hands.

It’s all the chance his pursuer needs and Gun feels his blood run cold when a body slams into his back, pulling him against a hard chest. His phone slips from his hand and Gun watches helplessly as a foot stomps it into the pavement.

“My sweet Gun, stop fighting. Shh, it’s over now.”

It can’t be. It can’t be over. Gun struggles violently but the man is too strong for him and he watches almost from a distance as a hand holding the handkerchief appears in his line of vision. “No!” He resumes his struggling tenfold and is able to get one of his hands free. Allowing all of the anger and hatred he feels for this man and what he’s put him and his friends and family through to flow through him, he reaches back and grabs hold of his crotch, twisting as hard as he can.

He lets out an agonized shout and his hold loosens but again, he doesn’t fall to his knees like Gun was hoping. He only manages to take a few steps before a hard body slams into him from behind and brings them both to the ground. The man holds him down easily and gets on top of him, his breath panting in his face, “Are you trying to make me angry? Is that what you want? Do you want me to hurt you?”

“Please, someone help me! Please!” Gun’s voice breaks on a sob and he turns his face away, feeling all of the strength and resistance go out of him. Pain explodes in his ribs and Gun loses his breath, gasping and curling in on himself when he sees the man raise his fist to deliver a second blow.

“You made me do this, Gun. If you had just gone with me quietly from the start, I wouldn’t have to do this.”

Gun gets his breath back just as another blow connects to his midsection, just below his ribs. His breath leaves him again and he sees black spots dance at the edges of his vision. Just as he feels his consciousness slipping away, he hears the sound of a door slamming open and running footsteps.

“Stop right there! Don’t move!” It’s Mew’s voice and Gun has never felt more relieved in his life.

He watches as Mew and Zee appear behind the man, hauling him off of Gun. Then, the sound of the door banging open again.

“Gun!”

He’s never heard Off’s voice so full of agony and fear. He coughs and rolls over, trying desperately to get his breath back so he can reassure Off.

“Gun! Gun, can you hear me?” Off has dropped to his knees beside him, “Please, please tell me you’re ok.” Off’s hands run over him gently but even the faint touch over his midsection is enough to make him whimper and curl in on himself. “Look at me,” Off’s hands are gentle when they cup his face and turn it upwards to meet his eyes. His face is streaked with tears.

Gun stares up at his beloved face and vows to himself right then and there that he’s going to tell him everything. He’s done with holding his feelings back when everything he loves can so easily be snatched away from him. He moves to sit up and is hit by a wave of nausea and he leans over, retching onto the pavement beside him.

“Call an ambulance!” Off’s hands are on his back and shoulders, holding him up and rubbing soothingly up and down his back.

Gun can hear Off talking to Mew in the background and the faint sound of sirens in the distance. He doesn’t dare look up to see where that man is. He doesn’t ever want to look at that face again. Trembling, he turns over and buries his face in Off’s chest, feeling the first sob shake his entire body. “Papii …” he dissolves into helpless sobs and clings to Off, feeling overwhelmed with relief when his arms come around him and pull him close.

“I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry I couldn’t protect you.”

Gun shakes his head in protest at those words but he can already feel himself going under. He remembers very little after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna go hide now. I'm sorry - please don't kill me! Also, just a note that I'll be busy next week but I'm hoping to have the next chapter up on the weekend.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay on this chapter - work has been kicking my butt this month. I just wanted to thank everyone who has left kudos or bookmarked or left comments. It means a lot to me. I'm also determined to have the last chapter up next weekend.

Gun wakes to the sound of beeping and bright fluorescent lights. He’s in a bed and there are two blurry faces leaning over him. He blinks to focus his vision and finds two worried faces staring down at him

“Nong Gun, you’re awake. How are you feeling?” Tay, who’s closer, reaches out to rub his hand over the top of his head.

“I --” he tries to sit up but groans when he feels pain shoot through his ribs and midsection. His head is also pounding. 

Tay already has a hand on his shoulder and gently pushes him back down, “Don’t try to move too much, ok?

He nods and looks around the room, his eyes landing on Off who is slumped over in a chair next to his bed, fast asleep. He’s still wearing his clothes from earlier and he looks so endearing and rumpled that Gun wants to crawl into his arms and never leave.

“He’s been here all night. Hasn’t left your side since they brought you in. Maybe you can convince him to eat something when he wakes up.”

Gun watches him fondly and looks up when he sees Arm carrying a cup towards him. He allows him to hold the straw out for him and turns his head away when he’s had enough. “What happened?” He needs to know what happened to that man. He needs to know that he didn’t escape somehow and is still out there, watching him and waiting to attack again.

Tay’s hand is back in his hair again, “Don’t worry, Gun. They have him. He’s in police custody right now. I’m not quite clear on why he was released early from their 24 hour hold on him but they have enough evidence to charge him now. So don’t worry, ok?”

Gun nods up at him gratefully.

“The bodyguards went with them when they arrested him earlier and I think they’re coming here to talk to you tonight if you’re up for it. Also, your family is on the way.”

Off stirs next to him and his eyes widen when he sees him, “Gun!” He’s instantly at Gun’s side, cupping his face, his eyes roving over him, “Are you ok? How are you feeling?”

Laying his hand over the one on his cheek, Gun smiles up at him, “I’m ok, Papii.”

“The doctor said you have bruised ribs and a concussion but no permanent damage,” Tay supplies helpfully.

The door opens and Mew and Zee walk in, followed by two police officers.

Off is immediately on his feet, “Why the hell would you release him early from custody? We gave you those letters. He infiltrated a heavily guarded media studio. And look what happened! Do you have any idea what would have happened if we hadn’t found him in time?”

“Sir, please calm down.”

He’s shaking and gripping the guard rail on the bed so tightly his knuckles have turned white. Gun puts his hand over the one on the rail and gently loosens his fingers, stroking the back of his hand, “Papii, it’s ok. Please calm down. I want to talk to them but I need you here with me, ok?” Gun has never heard him raise his voice like this at anyone and as nice as it is to watch him get so worked up on his behalf, he doesn’t want him to get in trouble or to escalate the situation any further.

Off’s shoulders slump and he nods but remains standing, both of his hands now on the rail and gripping it tightly. He stares at the approaching officers with what Gun likes to think of as his ‘I’m-angry-and-I-want-to-glare-at-you-but-there-are-cameras-on-me’ expression.

Tay puts his hand on Off’s back and leans over to whisper something in his ear before turning back to Gun, “We’re going to head out now, ok? Please call us if you need anything.”

Gun watches them leave and tries to ignore the pounding in his head.

It’s hard talking about what happened. Living that nightmare over again and going over every detail. He knows how close he came to being kidnapped, possibly even killed and it doesn’t help when one of the officers keeps telling him how brave and strong he’d been to fight back. But what choice had he had _not_ to fight back? That man had taken over every part of his life, almost every thought in his head, haunted his dreams, worried his family, ruined his visit with Off and the commercial he was looking forward to shooting with him, their perfect shopping date and would have done much worse if Gun hadn’t fought back. This wasn’t about being brave. He’d been terrorized and backed into a corner and given no choice in the matter.

He breaks down several times during the interview and Off is there every time, leaning over him with a hand on his shoulder or in his hair, asking them to take a break when the memories and terror overwhelm him. A box of tissues appears in Off’s hands and when he’s not handing him fresh tissues, he’s turning Gun’s head towards him, wiping his tears with his thumbs instead, leaning in close and whispering words or encouragement or asking him if he wants to stop.

Finally it’s over and Off follows them to the door, talking quietly with Mew who’s the last to leave. Gun shifts the pillows that Off had propped up for him and tries to lie back down but winces and whimpers pathetically when he tries to bend at the waist and accidentally puts pressure on his bruised ribs.

Off is at his side in an instant, helping him to lie back down and calling for a nurse.

“Papii, P’Tay said you’ve been here the whole night and that you haven’t eaten anything. You should find something to eat.”

“I’m not leaving until your family gets here.”

Gun knows there’s no point in arguing with him when he gets that stubborn set to his jaw so he sighs and lies back down, hoping the fresh dose of painkillers kicks in soon. He holds out his hand and Off takes it, stepping closer, “Then will you lie down with me?”

Off eyes him and the hospital bed, “Baby, I don’t think --”

Knowing that Off can deny him nothing, he says the magic phrase he only ever uses when he really needs to, “I need you.”

“Ok but I’m warning you that I’m not too fresh right now.” He lowers the rail and kicks off his shoes, climbing onto the bed next to him until he’s leaning over him on his side.

Gun pouts at him, “Closer.”

He shifts closer until his arm is sliding under Gun’s shoulders and pulling him gently against his chest. Gun buries his face under his chin and feels himself relax instantly. When he feels Off take a breath as if to speak, Gun places a finger on his lips. He knows exactly what he’s going to say and he doesn’t want to hear any guilt or apologies from him, now or ever. Gun is already feeling guilty enough for insisting they go on the shopping trip in the first place and he knows this is just going to end up in frustration for both of them. He’ll have to face that particular hornet’s nest later. For now all he wants is to stay exactly where he is. This is where he belongs, in the safety of this man’s arms.

❊ ❊ ❊

He stays with his family for a month, recovering and letting himself be fussed over to the point of climbing the walls. If Pim comes into his room one more time to practice TikTok dances, he’s going to steal her phone and delete the app.

The scrapes and bruises have fully healed and he’s feeling the itch under his skin he always gets when he has to stay still and confined to one place for too long. He wants to go back to work, he wants to see his friends, he wants to see Off again and breathe in the familiar, comforting scent of him. He’s been trying his best to get strong again but he doesn’t have much of an appetite and he sleeps even less. His dreams are filled with nightmares featuring the man Gun now knows to be called Paitoon Saetang. In his dreams, he doesn’t escape from the utility room and wakes up in a dark basement tied to a chair or he’s running down an endless hallway with Paitoon close behind him. He sees his shadow lurking beyond the shower curtain or standing beside his bed at night. His therapist had his doctor prescribe him a sleeping aid but it doesn’t seem to be helping much. When he asked Gun about the last time he remembered getting a good night’s rest in their last session, Gun had stuttered out something about staying over at a friend’s place. His therapist had looked at him knowingly and suggested he visit his friend again soon.

He misses Off desperately and video calls him once a week (although he’d like to do it more often). During their last call, he’d broken down and admitted it.

_“I can’t sleep without you holding me.”_

Off had been wearing his now usual expression of concern and had tried to say something before Gun cut him off, “I have to go now, Papii. I’ll talk to you soon.”

That month, Off posts a picture of the sky every day on his Instagram.

❊ ❊ ❊

On the morning he returns to work, Pim stares at him critically across the table where they’re eating breakfast, “You look like crap.”

Gun looks around for something to throw at her and settles on giving her an unimpressed look.

“I’m serious. Did you get any sleep last night?”

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, “I’m fine, Pim.” He tries to focus on eating but he’s too full of nervous energy to have any kind of an appetite. Admittedly, he hadn’t gotten any sleep last night or in the past week, for that matter but he’s hoping he can keep his energy up to last through shooting today. Besides, he’s looking forward to napping with Off during breaks and after shooting. If he stays in this house one more minute, he’s going to run screaming into the streets.

“At least finish your breakfast instead of staring at it. P’Off’s gonna be upset when he sees you’ve lost weight.”

He supposes the chances of Off not noticing that are none. He sticks his tongue out at her and grabs his phone from the table when it starts ringing. It’s Godji.

“Gun, are you sure about this? We can still cancel if you’re not feeling up to it.”

He takes his phone into the lobby where his bag is already waiting, “P’Godji, we’ve talked about this. I’m ready. I’m going.” The way this day is going so far, he figures he might as well just turn off his phone.

Pim waves at him from the doorway as he pulls out of the driveway and as he heads into the city, he feels a weight lift off his shoulders. He’s missed this. The freedom of going where he wants when he wants. Going back to a normal routine.

When he gets to the studio, there’s a big welcome back banner stretched across the office doorway and streamers everywhere. It seems like everyone is in the office today and he makes the rounds, accepting hugs and pats on the back.

He finds Off waiting at his desk in front of a giant basket filled with food and snacks. “Papii,” he moves into Off’s arms and his world settles into place. Squeezing tight he pushes his nose against his neck and breathes in that familiar fresh, calming scent of his. He doesn’t let go for several long minutes.

“Gun! P’Off!”

Gun turns around to find White standing behind him, smiling widely. Victor at his shoulder. “White! P’Victor!” He throws his arms around White and watches as Off and Victor exchange a one armed hug. There had been some changes made to the script and a few scenes added and he’d been looking forward to seeing both of them today.

Godji appears behind them, hands on her hips, “Ok, ok, enough chatting. They’re finished setting up so everyone upstairs.” Her stern act quickly falls apart when she leans in to give him his fifth hug that morning.

Before she can ask him whether he’s really sure he’s up for it, he pulls away and grabs Off’s hand, racing with him down the hall towards the elevators.

❊ ❊ ❊

About 10 minutes into filming, Gun realizes that he has maybe bitten off a little more than he could chew. He was doing fine, he really was but there are a lot of actors in this scene, all of them men, all of them about average height or taller, some of them he’d never worked with before and there were some cracks showing in the carefully crafted exterior he’d built around himself.

He _was_ feeling better, just like he’d told everyone. But he was also tired and on edge every time someone brushed against him or touched him which was a lot because this scene required him to be clumsy and bump into people. He was playing a hapless waiter that worked for a company that was catering for a graduating party of handsome young men.

He stumbled around and gasped out apologies as he ran into people, dropping trays and spilling drinks on crisp white shirts and leather shoes. Hands caught and steadied him, patted his shoulder, his head. Gun could feel his breath shortening every time it happened and forced himself to remain loose and open, forcing himself not to cringe away like he wanted to.

When he finally falls into Off’s lap, as per the script, his cover is blown immediately. He’s too tense, he knows he is and he’s trembling very faintly which is frustrating because he should be comfortable with Off and he is but he’s also never been able to keep his guard up around him.

“Gun? Hey, look at me,” Off turns him around and Gun ducks his head. Gentle fingers run through his hair as the director yells cut.

Godji appears beside them, “Nong Gun, are you ok?”

Gun nods, feeling embarrassed and unable to meet their eyes, “I just need … a small break, if that’s ok?”

“Of course it’s ok! If you need to stop for today, we’ll stop.”

“I don’t want to stop. I’m ok, really.” He stands up on shaky legs and shoots a reassuring smile at the room in general.

Off stands up and puts an arm around his shoulders, leaning over to say something to Godji before leading him out of the room. He takes him to one of the empty offices downstairs with a couch and pushes him to sit. “I’ll be right back, ok?”

Gun nods and tries not to pout as Off leaves. He really needs some physical comfort right now and he doesn’t want it from anyone else but Off, who has now left the room.

He returns quickly, carrying the basket from Gun’s desk and two bottles of tea. Gun takes the bottle offered to him and drinks from it, watching Off unwrap something. He doesn’t protest when Off feeds it to him or when he continues to unwrap things and feed him from the basket. If he stares at Off like an adoring, pitiful baby bird while he does it, that’s no one’s business but his. He’s too tired to try to hide anything from Off right now.

Finally, he’s had enough and he pushes Off’s hand away.

“You should eat more. Don’t think I haven’t noticed how much weight you’ve lost.”

Gun ducks his head. He’d been hoping somehow it wouldn’t be that noticeable.

Off sighs and puts the basket away, coming back to sit next to him on the couch. Cupping his face, he runs a thumb under one of his eyes, “You look exhausted. You don’t have to do this, you know. We can end the shoot today and do it another day.”

“No, I want to go back and finish. I miss work and being around people. It’s just … hard when people I don’t know touch me unexpectedly,” he hugs himself. “But it will get better, I know that. The only way it’s not going to get better is if I sit in my house all day.”

“Gun …”

“I want to sleep now. Can you set an alarm?”

Swiping his thumb one more time across his cheek, Off relents and takes out his phone before shifting to lie back on the couch. They’ve done this so many times now it’s like second nature for Gun to lie down and drape himself over him, sighing in relief when he feels Off’s arms come around him.

For the first time in a month, Gun falls asleep instantly.

❊ ❊ ❊

Going back to the set is a little awkward but Gun does his best to shake it off and get through his day. They don’t have much more to film and he’s determined to see this through.

Godji gives him another hug and the director pats him on the back. The set is still on break and Gun is grateful to have White there with him. His friend is a welcome familiar face and he embraces the opportunity to catch up with him while Off talks to Victor behind them.

The awkwardness creeps back a little when he follows White to the table set up with food and drinks. While they’re both getting something to drink, a few of the other actors, who Gun hasn’t worked with before, approach them. Gun does his best not to shift away from them and smiles warmly.

The tallest one steps forward, “Sawasdee Krab. N’Gun, it’s so nice to meet you and get a chance to work with you! We’re all big fans of yours.”

Gun wais at them politely. 

As the conversation flows, Gun feels himself relaxing little by little until he bumps against someone -- the tallest one, Kris -- when White leans over to pinch his cheeks. When did he get so close? He jolts and feels his heart pounding but thankfully, no one seems to have noticed. It gets worse when White makes a joke and they all laugh and Kris leans over to put an arm around his shoulders. He’s so tense he’s nearly vibrating with it but he’s trying his best to hold himself together.

Gun is too distracted by the arm around his shoulders to notice when Off and Victor appear on his other side until he sees White turning to greet them. Introductions are quickly made and then Off is tugging him over to stand on his other side, sliding an arm around his shoulders and pulling him snug against his side. Gun doesn’t miss the hard look he shoots at Kris.

“You ok?” Off murmurs under his breath.

Gun relaxes against him and feels his heartbeat slow to a reasonable pace, “I’m ok, Papii.”

The director is soon asking them to get back in place and much to Gun’s dismay, he wants to start shooting from early on in the scene. Gun steels himself and pulls the professionalism and years of experience he’s always used to get through difficult scenes around him like a cloak. He stumbles, stutters and apologizes his way through the scene, spilling food and drinks on people while hands steady him and pat at him.

He’s getting close to the part where he trips and falls into Off’s lap, who’s sitting in an armchair, swirling a glass of champagne in his hand and smirking at him -- did he really have to be so distractingly hot? -- when he trips over something unexpected at the wrong time and falls backwards into a pair of strong arms.

It’s Kris and he’s leaning in uncomfortably close, “Oops, be careful there.” He takes out a handkerchief and begins dabbing at the wine spilled on Gun’s shirt. He’s gone completely off script and Gun is frozen in place, staring at the handkerchief slowly moving up his chest towards his neck. It feels like a scene from one of his nightmares.

He hears someone whimpering and begging someone to stop and realizes it’s him and that there are tears on his face. Kris steps away and suddenly Off is beside him, pulling him behind him and getting right in Kris’ face.

“What were you thinking?! Do you know what he’s been through?” Off is furious and he’s shaking, one hand clenching and unclenching into a fist at his side.

Gun closes his hand over Off’s fist, “Papii, please don’t.”

The director yells cut and Kris stammers out an apology. Gun tries to reassure him but he’s still feeling panicked and shaky and he can’t seem to get the words out, much less hold himself up. The weight of his exhaustion and the flashbacks to being cornered in the utility room are pulling him down and making his legs wobbly. He clings to Off who has now turned to him, holding him steady by the waist and running worried eyes over him.

He turns to the director who has come over with Godji, “He’s had enough for today. I’m taking him home.”

Gun has stopped paying attention at this point and has his face pressed into Off’s shoulder, trying to center himself by breathing in the calming scent of him. He’s still swaying a little on his feet and he doesn’t protest when Off lifts him into his arms and carries him out of the room.

He wraps his arms around Off’s neck and buries his face there as they get into the elevator.

“Should I take you to a doctor?”

“No, I just need you.”

Security seems unfazed when they pass through, as are the few people they pass in the parking lot. When they get to his car, Off holds him one handedly while he searches for his keys, then carefully sets him down in the passenger seat.

“We’ll take care of your car later, ok? Do you want me to call Pim?”

Gun nods distractedly and doesn’t even notice the car ride to Off’s condo until they’re parking in front of it.

Off opens his door and helps him out of it, keeping a steadying arm around him, “Are you ok to walk?”

The shakiness in his limbs seems to have mostly gone away by now and Gun nods, letting Off lead him into the building and sighing in relief when they reach his door. As soon as they’ve gotten their shoes off, Gun takes Off’s hand and pulls him towards the bedroom. He strips out of everything but his shirt and underwear and turns to help Off do the same. Once suitably undressed, he pushes Off onto the bed and crawls in after him.

Pulling the covers over them, he lays against his chest and listens to Off’s heartbeat. Taking one of Off’s hands, he moves it under his shirt and doesn’t let go until he feels Off’s hand start running up and down his back.

“Gun, are you ok? Do you want to talk about it?”

“It’s just … when he got close to me and pulled out the handkerchief, it triggered a memory and I couldn’t control my reaction.” He starts trembling all over again at the thought of it. “I don’t even remember what happened after that.”

Off tenses beneath him and holds him closer, “What the hell was he doing going off script like that. I was this close to --”

“Papii, it wasn’t his fault. He didn’t know any better.”

Off mutters something under his breath and Gun leans up to silence him with a kiss, “Shh, I want to sleep now.”

Between one moment and the next, he slips easily into sleep.

❊ ❊ ❊

Paitoon visits him in his dreams. At times he’s lurking in the shadows, just a pair of eyes watching him and at others he’s a voice crooning in his ear, his voice turning low and menacing when Gun tries to pull away. And like the worst nightmares, when he tries to escape him, his legs move through molasses and his arms are like lead. And he’s always, always pulled down into the darkness with him.

He’s pulled out of sleep by someone shaking him and calling his name. “Gun. Gun!”

Gun jerks fully awake and stares up into Off’s face, who’s leaning over him, his face pinched with worry. From the way his chest is heaving and the wetness on his face, he must have been crying in his sleep again. He sits up and reaches for Off who sits down on the bed and envelopes him in a tight embrace. “Don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me.”

Off rubs a hand up and down his back, “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

Pressing his lips against the steady pulse in Off’s neck, Gun feels his heartbeat slow down along with it.

“How often do you have these nightmares?”

“Almost every time I fall asleep.”

“Did they give you anything for them?”

“Mm. But they don’t help much. I had my best sleep with you earlier today on that couch.”

Off pulls back to look at him, “I can take you back home tonight. Even if it doesn’t feel like they’re working, you should still be taking them.”

Shaking his head, Gun pulls him close again, “I don’t want to go home. I want to stay here with you.” He pauses, knowing he’s revealing himself when he says it, “I have them on me. They’re in my bag. Please let me stay. Please.” Gun is so tired of fighting his need to be close to Off right now and he’s not above begging.

“Of course you can stay. Stay as long as you want.”

Gun pulls away and smiles at him, “Sorry for ruining your peaceful solitude.”

“You’re not ruining anything. Stay as long as you want. I mean it.”

Gun really can’t resist him when he looks at him so earnestly like that, especially when he’s wearing an apron. He tugs at the bib of it, “I like this. Were you cooking for me?”

“Yeah, it’s almost ready. It’s nothing special but I think I might be improving a little bit.”

“Improving for me?”

Off blushes and avoids his eyes.

“Papii is so good to me I might never leave.”

Gun watches Off’s ears turn red and laughs when he picks him up and plants him in front of the suitcase he’d left here a month ago, “Get dressed and come out here before the food gets cold.”

The meal is simple but very good and Gun can’t help but agree that his cooking skills seem to be improving. It’s made even better by Off serving him from all of the dishes. Never one to pass up an opportunity to be indulged by Off, Gun simply opens his mouth and waits expectantly when Off suggests he try something in particular.

When he’s finished, he rests his chin on his hand and smiles up at Off. His nightmares a distant memory, he feels happy and at peace for the first time in a long time. “Papii, you should let me cook for you next time.”

Off gets up and starts clearing away the dishes, “You haven’t been sleeping or eating for a month. You’re not doing anything more strenuous than watching a movie and sleeping.”

Gun rolls his eyes at that but doesn’t protest when Off chases him out of the kitchen and into the living room.

He sits on the couch playing with his phone until Off joins him, sitting down next to him and handing him a popsicle.

“What do you want to watch?”

“Anything is fine.” He rests his head against Off’s shoulder and is soon slipping back under into sleep.

❊ ❊ ❊

He spends the next three days like that. Eating the meals Off cooks for him, mindlessly eating whatever snack he pushes on him and taking frequent naps. He still wakes up panting from nightmares with tears on his face but it’s happening less often, especially when he falls asleep leaning against Off or lying on his lap. He’s able to sleep through the night now that he falls asleep every night in Off’s arms.

On the fourth day, Gun decides that enough is enough. He’s lying on the couch with his head in Off’s lap, mindlessly scrolling through fashion accounts on his phone while Off plays a game on his, both of them ignoring whatever is playing on the TV. One of Off’s hands is stroking through his hair and it feels nice but he’s finally feeling fully rested for the first time in over a month, plus his stomach no longer feels like it’s tied into knots and about to reject anything he puts in it and he wants to _do_ something.

“Papii, I want to bake something.”

Off puts down his phone and stares down at him, “Sure. I’ve got some baking ingredients in the cupboard. Or we can go to the store if there’s something you need that I don’t have.”

Gun reaches up to pat him on the cheek fondly before getting up and going into the kitchen, “It’s ok, Papii,” he calls over his shoulder, “I’ll just use what you have.” He’s familiar with Off’s kitchen and finds what he needs quickly, setting the ingredients he needs on the counter and taking out measuring cups and spoons. He puts on an apron and goes in search of the large mixing bowl he knows is in one of the upper cupboards. As he’s reaching up on his tiptoes to get it, he feels Off’s presence at his back and then an arm is reaching over him to take the bowl down for him.

Turning around, Gun smiles up at him, “Are you going to help me?”

“I’ll be observing today. But I’ll help with whatever you need. What are you making?”

“Shortbread cookies. I found a recipe for them online I want to try. Don’t forget to put on your apron, Papii.”

Off dutifully puts on his apron before coming to stand at his shoulder while he combines the ingredients. It’s a simple recipe and Gun is soon mixing the ingredients in the bowl. Off sighs and rests his chin on his shoulder, his hands coming up to hold his hips. Everything about what they’re doing is so domestic and sweet and Gun wants to treasure this moment forever. In his dreams, he lives here with Off and this is something they do often together. He enjoys cooking and baking and wouldn’t mind doing it all the time, as long as he was doing it for Off.

“Is this actually going to taste good or is it going to be like that first time you made those -- ow! Ok, ok, I’m sorry!”

Gun removes his elbow from Off’s stomach and calmly continues mixing. “Everything I make for you is delicious,” he can’t keep the smile out of his voice, “and ungrateful Phis who don’t like what I’ve made them get nothing.”

Off’s hands are back on his hips and he presses his face against the nape of his neck, chuckling softly, “Sorry, baby. I love everything you make.”

Gun huffs and keeps up his offended act. He knows his first attempt at rice krispy squares had been a bit of a disaster but only he is ever allowed to acknowledge that and he’s having too much fun teasing Off. “Even if you like them and of course you will, you’re only getting two when they’re ready. You have to watch your sugar intake.”

Off laughs against the back of his neck again and Gun tries not to get distracted and flustered when he feels Off press his lips there. His hands tighten on his hips, “Gun …”

His voice has turned serious and Gun pauses in his mixing.

“I wanted to say that I’m sorry. I’ve wanted to say this for a while now but I didn’t know how to --”

Gun turns around to face him, “Papii, why are you apologizing to me? You have nothing to be sorry for.” He knew that this conversation was going to happen sooner or later but it’s no less frustrating to hear Off say those words to him when he knows that the blame for what happened that day lies on him. Regardless of what his therapist or everyone else in his life says, he had been careless with his safety that day and made everyone in his life who cared about him suffer for it.[1][1]

“I shouldn’t have let you go. I should have talked you out of it. I should have had someone monitoring the police station where he was being held. I should have been there to protect you,” Off’s voice cracks and he runs frustrated hands through his hair.

Gun can’t bear to see him like this and catches his arms, lowering them to his sides and stepping closer to wrap his arms around him. “I’m the one who should be sorry. I shouldn’t have been so careless and insisted on going shopping. I put everyone at risk and look what happened.”

Off puts his arms around his shoulders and hugs him back, rubbing his face against the top of his head, “Gun, what happened isn’t your fault.” He pulls back to meet his eyes, “You know that, right? It’s Paitoon who decided to stalk you and hurt you like that. You didn’t do anything to deserve that.”

Tears threaten to fall at the corners of his eyes and Gun reaches up to smack Off lightly on the shoulder, “Then don’t blame yourself for what happened. Don’t apologize to me.”

Off’s eyes are red, “Only if you promise not to blame yourself for what happened.”

Gun feels his chest tighten with his love for this man and he’s helpless to stop himself from pulling him down into a kiss.

Off kisses him back, his hands coming up to cradle the back of his head. Gun loses himself in the kiss, feeling want and tenderness in equal parts surge through him as Off moves his mouth to his temple, pressing fierce kisses down the side of his face. He lets his head fall back when Off moves on to his neck, sucking at the sensitive skin there. 

He feels his world spin when Off suddenly lifts him up and turns to set him on the table behind them. Gun clamps his legs around Off’s hips to hold him in place and tilts his neck to give Off better access to his neck.

He’s wanted this for so long and it feels like a dream that Off seems to want it too. They’ve been friends for so long. They’ve kissed, been as physically intimate as two people could be without it turning into sex. But up until very recently, they’ve never done _this_ before. Kissed like this. Touched like this. And Gun wants more, craves more of it all the time.

Gun whimpers when he feels Off open his mouth against his neck and gently graze his teeth over the skin there. Off freezes and pulls away, his eyebrows pulled together in a frown, “Gun, are you ok? I’m sorry, I --”

Moaning in protest, Gun pulls him back in and Off rests his forehead against his, panting and running his hands up and down Gun’s thighs. “Papii, why did you stop? Please don’t stop.”

“Gun …”

They startle apart when the sound of Off’s ringtone blares through the kitchen. Off curses and steps away, fumbling in his pocket for his phone. “Hi, Tay. Yeah, we’re doing fine.” He turns away and moves back across the kitchen to the opposite counter.

Gun sits and silently fumes at Tay. He’s interrupted them twice now with his inconvenient timing and Gun is already plotting his revenge.

“Tomorrow night? No, I don’t think so, Tay.”

Gun perks up at that, “What’s tomorrow night?”

Off turns to look at him over his shoulder, “Nothing, just a staff party.”

Gun frowns and hops off the kitchen table. He may be here letting Off take care of him but he is sadly mistaken if he thinks he can make decisions like this on his behalf. Marching up to Off, he snatches the phone away from him, “Hi, P’Tay, what’s going on tomorrow night?”

Tay laughs nervously on the other end, “Hi, Gun. How are you doing?”

“I’m fine, P’Tay. What’s going on tomorrow night?”

“Um, we’re having a staff party at a local restaurant for P’Godji’s birthday. I just called to remind Off and see how you were doing.”

“Ok. I’m going.”

There’s more nervous laughter on the other end, “Uh -- well … are you sure, Gun? I heard what happened the other day. Maybe it’s better if you sit this one out.”

“I’m going,” he uses his best Do Not Cross Me voice and gets the desired effect.

“Okaaay. Sounds good. Can I talk to Off again?”

“Do whatever you want.” He hands the phone back to Off and stalks off to the bedroom to pick out something to wear for the party. He knows he’s being a little childish but he’s feeling restless and horny and frustrated with the entire situation. Not to mention more than a little annoyed at both of his stubborn, protective friends right now. He misses work and friends and socializing. He misses the life he had before Paitoon and as far as he’s concerned, if he wants to sulk a little bit, he’s more than earned it.

❊ ❊ ❊

Off goes with him, of course. There was never any doubt that he would let Gun go to this party alone.

They’re both quiet on the car ride to the restaurant and Gun tries not to let the tension between them ruin his anticipation for the party. They haven’t spoken much since the phone call from Tay yesterday although Off had tried to approach him several times to talk. He’s not trying to be difficult and he knows they need to talk but a part of him is scared. Scared that Off doesn’t really want him or have feelings for him the way Gun does. Off would do anything for him, up to and including changing himself to keep Gun in his life and by his side. He knows Off loves him but he’s afraid that he’s confused his love and protective instincts with sex and a desire to offer Gun physical comfort. And at the moment, Gun is too afraid to confront him directly about this to find out the answer.

The restaurant is packed when they get there and Gun heads straight to the table set up at the head of the room where Godji is seated, looking beautiful in a ruffled sapphire blue dress. Gun loves to see her get dressed up because she has great style. She rises slightly from her seat when Gun reaches her side and squeezes him tightly, “I’m glad you could make it, Gun. How are you doing?”

“Happy Birthday, P’Godji. I’m fine.” He makes his greetings to the other people at the table and accepts hugs from both Jennie and Mike. 

He does his best to ignore Off’s presence at his back. He’s still feeling insecure and vulnerable about his uncertainty around Off’s feelings for him and he just needs a little space right now. And a good distraction. 

His eyes fall on Tay who’s making his way towards them. Gun is willing to admit that sometimes he does have good timing. “P’Tay!” He throws his arms around him and puts his mouth against his ear, “Can you keep him distracted for me? I just need a little space right now. We can talk later.”

Tay nods and smiles when he pulls away, moving towards Off and allowing Gun to step around him and disappear into the crowd.

He runs into Jane and Mook on his way towards the back of the restaurant and accepts their awkward but enthusiastic hugs as they both try to hug him and hold onto their colorful drinks at the same time.

“P’Gun, come and sit with us!”

Gun follows them over to a table where White, Sing, Jan and Chimon are huddled together, laughing over something on White’s phone. He’s missed them all so much. Even White, who he’d seen less than a week ago.

Chimon bounds out of his seat and rushes over to Gun, clinging to him and chattering in his ear about how glad he is to see him and how worried he’s been and how is he?!

He spends some time catching up with them, enduring their worried questions and comforting pats. Finally, he’s had enough and points at the small dance floor on the other side of the room, “Let’s dance!”

They converge on the dance floor together, Gun first dancing with the girls, the best dancers in their group, before Jan separates herself to go dance with Sing. Gun spends the rest of the time dancing in a loose circle with the others, laughing with Mook, Jane and Chimon at White’s silly antics.

This is exactly what Gun has been missing and he feels himself relaxing and losing himself in the moment, surrounded by friends and colorful, strobing lights. Everything is going exactly how he’d hoped it would until he bumps into someone tall and solid behind him and turns around to stare up into a familiar face, “P’Kris.”

Kris puts an arm around his shoulders and pulls him away from the dance floor. “Nong Gun, I’m so glad I ran into you.” He stops them near an empty table and puts his hands on Gun’s shoulders, “I wanted to tell you again how sorry I am about the other day. I know what you’ve been through and I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

Gun takes a step back and Kris drops his hands from his shoulders but he’s still uncomfortably close. “It’s ok, P’Kris. I know you didn’t mean to and I’m fine now.” 

Kris moves closer and puts a hand on his upper arm, “Let me buy you a drink.”

Gun feels his heart rate accelerate and takes another step back, “It’s ok. I should --”

“Gun! There you are!” Tay appears next to him, slinging an arm around his shoulders, “Off’s looking for you.”

Slumping against him gratefully, Gun looks up to see Off shooting Kris a death glare from where he’s seated at a table between Arm and Mike across the room. Thankfully they both seem to be holding onto him and preventing him from getting up and making a scene.

He wais at Kris and grabs Tay’s wrist, “I really have to go now, P’Kris. It was nice seeing you again.”

He pulls Tay over to an empty table in a corner at the back of the room and leans his head back against the wall, breathing hard.

“I really don’t trust that guy. He has no concept of personal space, even after it was explained to him that it was best to keep his distance after what happened to you. And I don’t think he was even invited to this party!”

Gun folds his arms on the table in front of him and buries his head in his arms, “Thanks for stepping in back there. I really don’t want Papii to cause a scene tonight.”

“ _I_ was about to cause a scene.”

Gun turns his head to gaze up at him fondly, “Well, thank you for not doing that. He probably just wants to get to know me better but I really can’t deal with him right now.”

“You shouldn’t have to. I’m going to talk to Godji about him later.”

Gun wants to argue that it’s not that serious, that he’s not a damsel in distress who needs someone to rescue him and that he’s capable of asserting himself if he needs to but he can’t bring himself to say anything because he’s secretly relieved. Something about Kris gets under his skin in a way that reminds him of Paitoon and he really doesn’t want another set back like the one he’d had on his first day back at work. He’s been working so hard to get back to normal. Everything was going so well except for the confusion around Off’s feelings for him.

He sighs deeply and feels Tay stroke the top of his head.

“Wanna talk about it?”

“I love him so much, Tay.”

“I know you do.” Tay chuckles, “It’s not exactly a secret. He loves you too. You know that.”

“I don’t know. I don’t know if he loves me the same way I love him. I’m afraid to find out.” Gun tries to keep his voice even but he knows Tay can hear the fear and sadness behind his words. He’s a skilled actor but he’s never wanted to hide anything from Tay.

“Gun …” Tay rubs his back, “Is that what this is about? Tonight? Avoiding him? You really should talk to him. I can’t say too much but he’s been miserable the entire night. I don’t think you realize how much he mopes when he can’t see you on a regular basis. The sulking alone when he sees you getting close to another guy is unbearable. In fact,” Tay hunches his shoulders and brings a hand up to shield his face, “I can feel his eyes burning holes into my back as we speak.”

Gun giggles and buries his face in Tay’s shoulder. It feels so good to talk about this with someone who understands both of them, who cares about both of them. Tay has always been a true friend and Gun feels lucky to have him in his life. All the same, he hesitates before bringing up the next topic, “He always pulls away. Every time we …”

Tay turns to meet his eyes and there’s understanding there, “Is this a recent development?”

Gun blushes and looks down, fidgeting with a string on his pants. “He told me he wanted me the way I want him. But he pulls away every time we start … well, we keep getting interrupted,” Gun scowls up at him.

“Ha! I _knew_ it! I knew you were doing something naughty to him at the mall.”

Gun rolls his eyes and swats at him, “Keep your voice down, I’m trying to be serious here. I feel like I’m always the one begging him not to stop, afraid that he’ll pull away. And he won’t even let me … I want to make him feel good too. But he always stops me. And you know how he is. He lets me get away with everything. What if this is just another way of giving in to me, of trying to offer me some weird kind of comfort.

Tay nods, “I see where you’re coming from now. But have you considered that stress and anxiety aren’t exactly conducive to, ah -- giving in to the moment and being swept away by passion?”

Gun makes a face at his choice of words.

“Look, all I’m saying is that Off has been tense and on high alert since this whole stalker situation started. He’s protective of the people he cares about but I’ve never seen him act like this with anyone but you. He was like a lion guarding his cub.” They both laugh at that. “He was worried to death about you and trying to do everything in his power to keep you safe. And even after Paitoon was caught, he’s still ready to fight anyone who gets too close to you. He told me what happened at the studio that day. If you want my opinion, he’s probably still too worried and on edge to pay attention to his libido right now.”

“Or he doesn’t want me.”

Tay coughs and scratches the back of his neck, “Ok, I have a confession to make. And you have to promise me you won’t tell Off I told you about this.”

Gun sits up in his chair, “What? Tell me.”

“Do you remember when Off took me with him to get ice cream at the mall?”

“Uh-huh.”

Tay avoids his eyes, “Well, he didn’t take me with him to get ice cream. He uh -- might have asked me to go buy him condoms and lube.”

Gun feels his jaw drop, “What!” He smacks Tay on the arm, “What did he tell you?”

“He didn’t tell me anything, I swear!” Tay puts his hands up and shifts away, probably trying to move out of swatting distance.

Gun doesn’t know what to do with this information. On the one hand, it could be a good sign. He would have assumed that Off already _had_ those things in his condo and he’d spent more than one sleepless night thinking bitterly about the girls he must bring home to spend the night with him. On the other hand, what if this was just some kind of irrational act of service on Off’s part. An attempt to distract him, comfort him, give him everything he wanted when he was at his most vulnerable?

He says as much to Tay who snorts, “Do you really think Off Jumpol would go out of his way to beg his friend to buy him condoms and then have sex with someone out of a sense of obligation? He’s nice but he’s not _that_ nice.”

Gun hides his flaming face in his arms before peeking up at Tay through his bangs, “I guess I should … probably talk to him.”

Tay rubs his back comfortingly, “Su su na.”

He sits up and tries to calm his racing thoughts. He’s both excited and scared to death. This could still blow up in his face and leave him shattered and disappointed. But there was hope now where there hadn’t been before. “Ok. I’m going to the bathroom and then I’m going to find him.”

“Do you want me to go with you?”

“No, I have to do this on my own.” He leans over to rest his forehead briefly against Tay’s, “Thank you.”

Tay gives him one of his blooming smiles, “I’m rooting for you two!”

Waving, Gun heads off in the direction he remembers seeing a bathroom sign. The hallway to the bathroom is dim and empty and he tells himself not to think about anything as he feels his heart rate speed up. Paitoon is in jail now and this isn’t one of his nightmares.

“Gun.”

He nearly jumps out of his skin when he hears a voice right next to his ear, breathing hot air. He turns to find Kris leaning over him, eyes dazed and swaying a little on his feet. Great. He’s drunk. “P’Kris, do you need to use the bathroom too?”

Kris is frowning down at him, “Why did you run away from me? I came here just to see you. I heard them talking about you coming tonight.” He pushes Gun against the wall and cages him in with both arms.

There’s a rushing sound in Gun’s ears and he can’t seem to move. Kris is so tall and so much bigger than Paitoon. And he looks angry. Gun desperately wants to get away from him but he’s frozen in place.

“Baby, baby, you’re so beautiful,” his eyes drop to stare at his lips. “Won’t you let me kiss you? Just once?”

Suddenly he’s jerking back, away from Gun. Gun watches as if from a distance as Off slams him against the opposite wall and gets right in his face, “Go near him again and I will kill you. Do you understand me?”

Kris sneers at him, “You’re not even his boyfriend. I asked around. What right do you have to tell me to stay away from him?”

Off slams him back against the wall, “He’s scared out of his mind every time you get near him. Which you would have noticed if you gave a shit.”

Kris takes a swing at him and Off dodges easily, punching him right in the nose. He falls to his knees and Gun grabs Off’s arm as he moves towards him again.

There’s murmuring voices at the end of the hallway where several people have gathered. “That’s enough, Papii. Let’s go.”

“He’s mine. Stay away from him!”

Gun feels his heart flutter a little at that but he does his best to ignore it because now is definitely not the time. He tugs Off into the restaurant and towards the front door. When Godji approaches them, Gun gives her a weak smile of apology, “Sorry, we have to go now. We’ll call you later.”

Before she can ask any questions, Gun pulls Off through the front door and out into the parking lot. He’s breathing hard and still looks furious. Gun takes his face between his hands and makes him look at him, “Papii, let’s go. I want to go home now.”

Off nods but his eyes are still a little distant.

“I can drive. Where are your keys?” He reaches into Off’s pants pocket but Off grabs his hand to stop him.

“No, I’ll drive.” His eyes run over him, “Are you ok? Did he hurt you?”

“No, Papii. He didn’t do anything to me.”

“Bullshit.”

Gun sighs and pulls his head down to kiss his forehead. He’s really had enough drama for one night. “He didn’t have a chance to do anything because you were there. Ok? Let’s go home.”

Off stares at him for another long minute before nodding and then gently ushering him into the passenger seat.

Gun lets him fuss over him and buckle his seat belt. The only plus side to that terrifying encounter is to have Off dote on him like this. And he’s not going to deny that it doesn’t do things to him to see Off come to his defense like that. If Gun’s being honest with himself, Off is really hot when he’s angry. He studies him as he gets into the driver’s seat and admires the way his thick hair is currently tumbling in a mess over his forehead. The first two buttons are undone on the dark blue shirt he’s wearing, revealing a flushed chest.

Off clenches and unclenches his hands on the steering wheel and Gun leans against him, taking one of his hands and gently uncurling it, “Let’s talk when we get home, ok?”

His jaw tenses and he nods once before pulling out of the parking lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 11I just wanted to put a note in to make it clear that this part is meant to reflect Gun’s complicated feelings about his own traumatic experience and is not a statement of fact. The victim is never at fault. [ return to text ][return to text]


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter already, wow. This chapter is mostly smut and it's my first time writing it so I hope it's ok.
> 
> I just wanted to say thank you so much to everyone who has left such lovely feedback or kudos or just silent readers. I haven't written anything in forever and I'm so glad so many of you enjoyed it because I had fun writing it. I don't have many days off the rest of this year but I would like to write an epilogue someday maybe.

They don’t speak on the ride back and they’re both quiet when they enter the condo, each lost in their own thoughts. Gun is nervous about this discussion. He’s never been good at expressing himself with words, outside of acting, and he doesn’t want to accidentally say the wrong thing or miss saying something important. But he feels bolstered by what happened earlier.

He takes Off’s hand and leads him into the living room, sitting down on the couch and pulling Off down beside him. At a loss for what to do next, Gun stares down at his lap and fiddles with his bracelet.

He is not prepared for what Off says next.

“Are you in love with Tay?”

“What?!”

Off ducks his head at the disbelieving look Gun shoots him and runs his fingers through his hair before dropping his hands to rub against his thighs. “I have to know. I’ll support both of you if that’s what you want but --”

“Why would you even say that? Why would you even think that?”

Off meets his eyes, “I saw you two together tonight. You looked … intimate.”

Gun is beyond frustrated. This is not how he had expected this discussion to go at all and he has to remind himself to remain calm. “For your information, we were talking about you. Or more specifically, about how I’m in love with you and how worried I am that you don’t feel the same way.”

Off stutters.

Gun buries his face in his hands and wills his heart to stop racing. This is so much harder than he thought it would be and a part of him wants to run away right now but he’s determined to keep going. He needs to know how Off really feels. He needs to stop torturing himself with what ifs. “Papii …” He forces himself to take his hands away from his face. “I have to ask you something and you have to promise to be honest with me and with yourself.”

“Gun?” Off is looking at him with a now familiar expression of concern.

Gun drops his eyes back into his lap and digs his nails into his palms. “I really want -- I mean, do you really want …” He scrubs his hands through his hair in frustration and finally just says it, “I want to have sex with you. But if you’re just going along with it because you’re worried about me and you want to comfort me, I need to know. I want to know how you really feel.”

“Gun --”

“Please let me finish. Please.” He takes a deep breath and wills himself not to start panicking yet. “If you’re not attracted to me like that, I need to know. And I need _you_ to know that I’m not going to disappear from your life if the answer is no.”

“Gun, where did you get this idea that I don’t want you? I thought we talked about this already. Is this about last night?”

“You always pull away. Every time we …”

It’s Off’s turn to sigh in frustration. “Last night I pulled away because I was worried about you. I wanted to make sure you were ok. You got so upset when that asshole got close to you in the studio and I wanted to make sure that what I was doing was ok. That you weren’t upset or scared.”

“Not with you! You make me feel safe. You make everything better. I thought you understood that.”

Off pulls him into his arms and Gun goes willingly, burying his face in his neck. This is so much better than talking and he feels some of the tension leave his body. Although he’s still annoyed at Off and the entire conversation in general.

“You know I’ve been worried about you. It’s not that I don’t want you. It’s just that I can’t focus on myself when all I can think about is someone trying to hurt you and take you away from me.”

“That’s what Tay said.”

“I don’t want to hear what Tay said about our sex life.”

Gun pouts, “What sex life? You never initiate anything! You barely even let me touch you.”

Off sighs and rubs his back, “I just -- I don’t want to do anything you don’t like. You’ve already been through enough.”

Gun kind of wants to tell him that he doesn’t want to have sex with stupid, stubborn men anyway but he restrains himself. Just barely. “When have I ever been shy about telling you exactly what I like and what I don’t like? How many times do I have to tell you that I’m not scared of you, that I could never be scared of you? I’ve already told you what I want but it’s like you’re not even listening to me!”

“Ok.”

“Ok?”

Off pulls away and meets his eyes. There’s something different about him, about the way he’s looking at him but Gun can’t quite pinpoint what. The air has changed between them.

“Let’s play a game,” he says.

Gun looks at him suspiciously, “What game?”

“I chase you and you run away. If I catch you, I get to do whatever I want with you.”

An excited thrill runs through him and Gun finds himself smiling helplessly, “Papii!” He loves it when Off gets silly. He loves it when he plays with him.

Off gets up from the couch and crosses his arms. “I’ll give you a head start. Five seconds.”

Gun leaps up from the couch and races into the kitchen, giggling when Off starts to follow him, “Papii, you said you would give me a head start!”

Off grins and advances on him slowly, “One.”

“Papii, stop cheating!” Gun backs further into the kitchen.

“Two.”

He tries to corner him in the kitchen but he’s moving so slowly that Gun is able to easily dart around him and back into the living room.

Off turns around and follows him into the living room. “Three.”

Gun dances around the coffee table and moves towards the balcony. Off is smiling but there’s something predatory about his movements and the way his eyes track him and Gun really can’t resist him with his hair a mess like that and his shirt unbuttoned. He’s never wanted to be caught so badly and he doesn’t even care that Off is cheating.

“Four.”

Off has almost reached him and Gun bites his lip, trying to relax his posture and give the appearance of someone about to be caught and giving up.

He’s so close now that Gun could touch him if he reached out his hand and he feels his warm breath on his face when he whispers, “Five.”

Gun drops to the floor and slides under his outstretched arm, shrieking and laughing when Off turns around and starts chasing him. “Papii! You cheated!” He races into the entryway and ducks under his arms again when Off tries to corner him there. There’s laughter behind him as Gun dashes into the bedroom.

“When did I ever say this game was going to be fair?” Off is grinning at him as he closes the door behind him. He chases him around the bed and almost catches him but Gun is able to wriggle away and roll across the bed to the other side.

“Papii!” Gun is laughing so hard he can’t run in a straight line anymore but he’s having too much fun to stop now. He leads Off around the bedroom and around the bed in increasingly faster circles until finally an arm catches him around the middle and he’s pulled back against a familiar chest.

“Got you,” Off whispers in his ear.

Gun shivers and lets himself go limp against him. He’s not going to pretend that he isn’t happy to be caught. “What are you going to do to me?”

Off runs a hand down the front of his shirt, “Whatever I want.” He drags his lips down the side of Gun’s neck and Gun tingles all over in anticipation. When he starts to slowly undo the buttons on his shirt, Gun sighs and drops his head back against his shoulder.

Hands skim down his chest and stomach where the shirt has parted to reveal his naked skin and Gun revels in the contact, in having Off’s hands on him like this, watching as they move lower, pausing before unbuckling his belt and pushing his jeans down to pool around his ankles. He helps by undoing the buttons at his wrists and suddenly he’s almost naked in the circle of Off’s arms.

He turns around and helps Off with the buttons on his own shirt, fingers starting to fumble with his impatience. Finally he gets it off and leans forward to press a kiss right in the middle of his chest. There’s definition there that hadn’t been there before Gun takes advantage of the moment to run his hands over his chest and down his torso. His recent trips to the gym must be paying off.

Off cups his face and leans down to capture his lips, pulling him into deep, drugging kisses. Gun sighs into the kiss and opens his mouth against Off’s, sliding his tongue against his and wrapping his arms around his neck to hold him in place. It feels so natural to kiss him like this. Like they’ve been doing this forever.

He doesn’t protest when Off slides his hands down his back and moves them down to cup his ass. There’s a reason he’s never objected to Off putting his hands on him whenever and wherever he wants to. “You have a thing for my ass, don’t you,” he teases.

Off squeezes his hands around him and laughs against his mouth, “You know I do.” Then he’s gripping tighter and lifting him up into his arms. Gun wraps his legs around his waist and kisses him deeper as Off walks them back towards the bed. He lowers Gun down onto it and then steps back to unbuckle his belt and remove his pants, revealing the black boxers underneath.

Gun can tell he’s already half hard from the way the front of them are tented and he watches breathlessly as Off gets on the bed and crawls up so that he’s leaning over him. Leaning down, Off moves his lips over his again, bracketing him in with his arms. With Off on top of him like this, he covers every inch of his body and Gun loves how small he makes him feel. Their size difference doesn’t scare him the way it does with Kris because Off has always made him feel safe and protected. It’s also really, really hot how easily he can pick him up and even lift him with one hand.

He loses track of things after that, drowning in a haze of pleasure as Off kisses down his neck and sucks bruises into the skin there before moving down to mouth at his collarbones and then drag his lips down his chest. He’s probably going to be covered in marks tomorrow and he loves it, loves feeling claimed like this. When Off moves his mouth over one of his nipples, he loses all sense of anything and clutches the back of his head to hold him in place, his legs going up to wrap around his hips and grinding up helplessly against him. There’s someone moaning and Gun realizes it’s him but he’s soon too distracted by Off moving over to pull his other nipple into his mouth to care about how loud he’s being.

Off pulls back to smirk down at him, eyebrow raised, “So sensitive.” He’s flushed and panting, his lips red and slick and his hair is a mess. It really is unfair how hot he is. Gun never stood a chance of resisting him.

“Papii, please!”

His eyes are heavy lidded as he stares down at him, eyes lingering on his mouth before he leans down to capture his lips in a bruising kiss. He pulls back to look down at him, “Look at you, I just wanna eat you up.”

“Ok, Mr. Wolf.” When Off keeps staring, Gun squirms under his attention and flushes, giving him a ‘well, get on with it’ expression.

Off smirks at him again and then he's leaning over to open the drawer in the nightstand by the bed, pulling out a box of condoms and a tube of what Gun assumes is the lubricant that Tay picked out himself. He turns his head to cover his smile at the memory of his conversation with Tay earlier.

“Hey,” Off says, drawing Gun’s attention back to him. He runs his hands up his thighs and Gun loves that each of Off’s hands cover the width of his thighs. “Have you ever done this before?”

Gun shakes his head, “No but I have with myself, with my … fingers.” He turns his face away, feeling flustered and doesn’t mention that when he uses his fingers on himself like that, he always imagines that it’s Off touching him, Off’s fingers inside of him.

Finally, he gathers the courage to turn back and meet Off’s eyes, “Have you ever, with a guy before?”

“No, first time. Tell me if I do anything that you don’t like or that makes you uncomfortable, ok?” His eyes are serious.

Gun nods and trembles as Off caresses his thighs and moves his hands slowly upwards until he reaches the band of his underwear. He pulls them off slowly and then just stares down at him, looking transfixed. Gun feels completely exposed and resists the urge to curl up and cover himself, “Papii!”

Off seems to be in his own world and Gun gasps when he reaches out and circles him with his hand, gently running his thumb through the moisture at the tip. “Do you have any idea how gorgeous you are? Even your cock is pretty.”

He barely has time to process that before Off is leaning over and putting his mouth over him, first sucking at the tip and then sliding his mouth almost all the way down, enveloping him in wet heat and tight suction. “Oh my god,” Gun arches up under him and sees stars.

Off pulls back and Gun watches as he flicks open the cap on the bottle and coat his fingers. “I’ve thought about this a lot, you know.” He trails his fingers down and circles his hole, probing gently with one of his fingers. “For a long time.”

Gun wants to ask him how long but every thought goes flying out of his head the moment Off presses one of his fingers into him. He’s done this to himself before but Off’s fingers are longer and bigger than his and just one of them is filling him so perfectly. He’s soon begging for more and pushing back against the fingers thrusting inside him.

Off grips his left thigh and pushes it back against his chest, “I’m going to take care of you, ok? Wanna make you feel so good.” He presses in deeper, curling his fingers and brushes against the spot Gun has never been able to hit consistently on his own.

There’s sparks behind his eyes and Gun can’t stop the desperate sounds he’s making as he arches up, urging Off to press deeper, faster. Off grips his thigh with one hand to hold him in place while thrusting in faster with the other, hitting that same spot every time, again and again until Gun is so close he has to grab his hand to stop him, “Papii, please!”

“Tell me what you need.”

Gun cries out in frustration and tries to pull Off down on top of him, “You! I need you!”

Off fumbles for the box of condoms on the bedside table and nearly knocks the entire thing off the table before managing to grab one and starts tearing into it. He’s breathing hard and his hands are shaking and it makes Gun feel warm inside to see how affected he is.

He sits up and takes the condom from him, “Let me put it on.” Glancing meaningfully at the boxers Off is still wearing, he says, “You can take those off now.” Forgetting the condom altogether, he watches intently as Off gets off the bed and tugs the boxers down his thighs. 

He has a beautiful body. All long lines and broad shoulders with just enough muscle definition to make Gun want to investigate thoroughly by touching and biting him all over. But that can wait for another day. Right now his eyes are drawn to the hard cock in front of him. It’s flushed red and bigger than Gun expected based on the times he’s groped him through his pants. He gets up on his knees and reaches out to wrap his hand around it, giving it an experimental tug.

Off hisses and stares down at him, his eyes black, “Do you know how to put it on?”

Gun shakes his head, “Show me.” He lets Off take his hands and help him slide it down the length of his cock. When he hits the base of it he doesn’t let go, sliding both of his hands up and down the length of it, trying to learn the rhythm and pressure that Off likes. What makes him curse under his breath and his legs tremble.

“Gun …”

There’s a note of warning in his voice but Gun ignores him. He’s fantasized for too long about seeing him and touching him like this to stop quite yet. “Come closer.” When Off gets closer, he uncurls himself from his kneeling position and sits down on the bed, wrapping his hands around Off’s hips and leaning forward to run his tongue under and then over the head of his cock. The taste of latex isn’t his favorite but it’s more than worth it to get his mouth on Off.

Off seems to have forgotten any words beyond ‘fuck’ by this point and Gun takes pride in having almost rendered him speechless. He takes the head of his cock into his mouth and sucks, lifting his eyes to meet Off’s. His mouth is open and he’s panting, staring down at him helplessly. Gun tries to slide his mouth further down the length of him but doesn’t get very far before the head is hitting the back of his throat and he has to pull off, eyes watering.

Above him, Off’s face twists in tortured pleasure and he makes a strangled sound, leaning down to pick him up like he weighs nothing and throwing him back on the bed. Gun shivers in anticipation as Off crawls up the bed to hover over him again. He braces his arms on either side of his head and stares down at him, “You drive me crazy, you know that?”

Gun smiles cutely up at him, making sure to show his dimples, “I know, Papii.”

Off leans down and kisses him roughly for one long minute before releasing him and grabbing the bottle left on the bed beside them, coating his fingers and pressing two fingers into him. Gun arches up off the bed and clutches at his shoulders, whimpering and Off leans over to whisper in his ear, “Your mouth should be fucking illegal.”

Writhing underneath him, Gun grips his arm, “Papii, please, please, I need you. I’m ready.”

Off doesn’t argue and pulls his fingers out gently, pouring a generous amount of lube over himself and his fingers. He slides his fingers into him one more time before withdrawing them and bracing himself over him.

He goes slowly but with his size, it’s still a stretch. Off leans down and rests their foreheads together, “You have to tell me if it’s too much, if you’re uncomfortable.”

Gun clutches at his shoulders and gasps out as Off fills every inch of him. It’s a little overwhelming at first but it’s not painful or even uncomfortable. Just different. “I will. Papii, don’t stop.”

When he’s finally all the way in, Gun takes a few minutes to adjust to the feeling of being filled so completely. He squirms a little and lifts his legs to curl around Off’s hips, moaning when he feels him sink in deeper and slide against the spot inside him that makes pleasure explode behind his eyelids. Off makes a strangled sound and buries his face in his neck. He’s always dreamed of having his kind of intimacy with Off, of being underneath him, joined like this and completely surrounded by him. He wants to cry from how good it feels.

Digging his fingers into Off’s shoulders, he lifts his hips up and urges him to move, “Papii, you can move now. Please, I need --”

He starts out slow, pulling out slightly and then sliding back in, rocking them gently together. But he’s soon moving faster at Gun’s pleading, taking hold of him and pulling him up into his thrusts as Gun pants in his ear, begging for more. When Gun shifts slightly, tightening his thighs around Off’s waist to pull him in deeper, sparks of pleasure shoot through him when he feels him slide against that perfect spot inside of him, hitting it every time. He’s soon lost to everything but the feeling of Off inside of him, surrounding him, his own cock rubbing against Off’s hard stomach.

“Papii, _please_ \--" he cries out when Off reaches down to take hold of him, his grip firm and steady and falls apart completely, moaning and shivering in his arms.

Off presses kisses into his neck and pulls him closer. “That’s it, that’s it, you’re so perfect.” He’s thrusting into him desperately now, panting and groaning in his ear and Gun goes pliant with contentment beneath him, whimpering a little with oversensitivity but having no desire to move.

Tensing above him, Off presses his mouth against his ear, “I love you. I love you so much. How could you ever think I don’t want you? Can’t you see what you do to me?” He stiffens and then he’s trembling in Gun’s arms, pushing into him a few more times while Gun strokes his back and holds onto him fiercely.

Off rolls them gently onto their sides, keeping them connected and his face buried in Gun’s neck for several long minutes. “I’m never letting you go.”

Gun strokes his hair and clings to him, “I love you too.”

Eventually Off separates them as gently as he can and disappears into the bathroom, coming back with a washcloth to clean them both. Gun is too content to move and lets Off move him around like a doll, running the cloth over him and where they were recently joined before sliding a pair of shorts over his legs. He’s soon turning off the lights and returning to the bed, Gun curling up in his arms.

He runs a hand down Off’s chest, resting it on his stomach just above the band of his shorts, “You promised me a whole day, remember. Don’t forget.”

Off rolls on top of him, “I’m going to need more than a day.” His expression turns thoughtful, “Didn’t you say something about me tying you to my bed? I need to find some rope …”

“I’m not objecting but you don’t need rope to keep me here.”

“Good, then move in with me.”

Gun can’t stop the smile that spreads across his face and it feels like he’s glowing from the inside out, “Ok, Papii.”

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to come say hi to me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/poppypetal3) or [tumblr](https://poppypetal38.tumblr.com/)


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